Unforeseen
by The Mind Of The Dragon
Summary: It's two years since Rodney's mobility and speech were lost following the Jumper crash and John suspects that despite evidence to the contrary, Rodney has not quite adjusted as well as he makes people believe. But John realises this too late as Rodney takes a risky gamble that may well change his life and the lives of those around him, forever. Sequel to Skyward. Whump, H/C Angst
1. Chapter 1

_**Another Stargate Atlantis fic? A sequel to Skyward? Maybe...**_

_**I know it has been quite some time since I wrote Skyward, and many of you wanted a sequel to find out what became of poor McKay and Sheppard. This has been taken out and mused over then put away again for so long it is not even funny, yet I knew one day I would sit down to it. So, in order to see if any of you are still around/interested and see if it is worth completing, I thought I would throw up the first chapter. As with Skyward, it promises to be an angst filled whumping tale with our favourite Lanteans. ;)  
**_

_**If you have not read Skyward, I recommend reading it first, otherwise this story might be quite confusing. ;)**_

_**Comments are cookies for the soul of the Dragon, feed me! :D**_

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_"Rodney move it!"_

_His hands are before him, pulling at wires and crystals, replacing or discarding them as he looks over the schematics on his tablet. He is very conscious of the Wraith Dart that Sheppard is unable to shake or take down and is well aware that it won't stop firing at them until they are vaporized._

_"I've nearly got it!" He yells back to John as the PuddleJumper is rocked by yet another hit. He hears the loud clunking noise that sounds every time Sheppard tries to fire weapons, exasperated that it still isn't working._

_"Rodney get over here!" John shouts again and Rodney can tell by his voice that he is preparing for a less than favourable outcome to this mission._

_"I've nearly got it!" He shouts back irritated._

_He is suddenly slammed forcefully onto the panel he is working on when the ship is rocked by yet another impact. He is shocked for a second as the pain in his face brings tears to his eyes and he wipes at the steady warm flow that is now running from his nose as he focuses on the blood splattered crystal array, frantically trying to bring the weapons system back online._

_"There! Try it now!" He shouts over the noise in the cockpit, his heart leaping as John successfully fires the Jumpers weapons at the Dart, unable to contain a small cry of elation as at least one drone hits home. But his glee is short lived and his heart sinks as he watches the Dart quickly change direction and unleash another attack on the Jumper that plunges it into darkness._

_"The entire system just went down!" John yells, his voice sounding oddly faded._

_For a moment Rodney can do nothing but stare out as the Dart comes round for another shot, speedily drawing closer with its weapons firing. He can hear his blood pumping loudly in his ears, can feel his heart racing in his chest and he stands there frozen until John's frantic shouting brings him back to his senses._

_"I ...I can fix this!" He shouts back, determined to get the systems back online and save their asses as John tries everything he can to try and level out a ship that is currently falling like a brick down through the upper atmosphere of a rarely visited planet. Rodney wipes at his nose as he replaces a crystal and watches as the systems come back online. Turning back to John with a grin, the pilot battles to level out the Jumper then turns it towards the approaching Wraith dart as both ships now streak madly across the planets bright blue sky._

_"Time to take this son of a bitch down." John growls and fires._

_The Wraith Dart explodes into a million pieces of flaming wreckage, most of which burns up with in ferocity of the explosion. But they both watch in horror as a large piece of the Darts pointed nose is propelled towards them faster than John can maneuver his damaged ship and it collides with the Jumper causing an explosion in the weapons array that rips the ship open like a tin can. The ship shudders and veers into a shallow nose dive, spiraling lazily as John fights to bring it back under some kind of control._

_"I can't get it back!" John is yelling over the noise of the alarms and the deafening roar that fills the cockpit from the jagged hole in the falling Jumper. "It's no use Rodney! Get back here and strap in!"_

_But Rodney is unable to let go of the cargo netting that his hands have clawed into, anchoring him as the rest of his body flays around in the spinning ship. He is aware of John, twisting in his seat with his hand reaching out for him, but Rodney is too scared to even try and grab his outstretched hand. There comes the terrible screaming sound of tearing metal and he sees light shining through stress breaks in the massive plates above him as the strength of the air being forced through the ragged hole begins to tear the ill fated ship apart. He is somewhat thankful that they are in the planets atmosphere, knowing all too well what a hull breach would mean if they were still in the dark vacuum of space._

_He looks fearfully back towards John, who has loosened his restraining belt enough as to let him reach closer to Rodney while still providing some kind of anchor point to the pilots seat. His face is full of concern as he sees the hull breaching too, his eyes locking onto Rodney's, showing a look of fear that Rodney has never seen in them before, the sight of which spurs him into letting one hand go of the cargo netting and reach for John's outstretched hand._

_But John's image suddenly ripples and morphs into a Wraith, its evil eyes stare at him as its long white hair whips wildly about its head and it reaches for him with its huge strong hand with the feeding slit only too obviously. Rodney recoils and tries to pull himself away from the abomination, attempting to kick at it, only to find that he is unable to move anything below his waist. He looks down to find that he has no feet, does not even legs. Attached below his stomach is a heap of twisted metal that is bent and shaped around a solitary wheel and the scream that tears from his throat is enough to..._waken him out of his nightmare and back into the reality of his bedroom, drenched in sweat and shaking uncontrollably.

Rodney wiped his face and sighed as he woke from the bad dream. The nightmare is always the same, never changing. No matter how many times his mind replays the cursed images the nightmare never fails to drag him screaming from sleep. Panting, he felt his way down his body as he often did after that particular nightmare, just to remind himself that he was fully human and not a horrific amalgamation of flesh and twisted metal. The sigh that escaped his lips was filled with relief when he felt his thighs were flesh and blood and not cold metal. His only saving grace was that the nightmares did not occur with the frequency they once had, this being the first time he suffered one in some weeks.

For the most part, he believed that this particular nightmare was in fact, details of everything that happened in the lead up to the crash which resulted in his confinement to a wheelchair. Everything, that is, with the exception of his becoming some weird twisted unicycle, which he knew full well came from a deep aversion to the wheelchair he now relied on. He remembered very little of the crash consciously, but he was almost one hundred percent sure that the start of the nightmare was exactly what happened on that fateful day. The very fact that in the dream he is trying in vain to save the ship when it crashed seems to add up with his injuries and the reason that John had left his pilots chair to become lodged beneath it. But it doesn't matter which part of the nightmare is real or not, his waking nightmare remains the same and he continued to be reliant on a wheelchair for his everyday mobility.

He had tried to walk again, of course he had. Long days of sweat and extreme pain, managing only to struggle a few torturous steps with the heavy aid of two people who spoke to him words of encouragement that only made him angry at them and himself. In the end he was forced to accept the original diagnosis that Carson had given him; that he would never walk again. Not once had he been able to get out of the chair and walk unaided wherever he liked. Not once had he been able to utter a word or form a sentence that could be heard by others while awake. Not once in the last two years, had he been allowed to forget the happenings on the fateful day that had robbed him of his independence.

Turning his head on the soft pillow he looked at the contraption that he hated so much and his face pulled into a tired sneer but relaxed again as reminded himself that he was lucky to still be alive. He had decided long ago that if this was to be his life now; he would do what he had always done and push himself to the very limits of his abilities. Rodney McKay had never settled for second place and he wasn't about to do that now. He had never run from a challenge, and he certainly wasn't about to start. But there were days, like today, when the last vestiges of his nightmare would leave him thinking, why me? But staying on Atlantis left him little time for self pity and today would be no exception. John would, as always, be there to drag him out of the depths of despair and bring a smile to his silent lips. Today was excursion day, or as John had come to name it, Arennar day, so named after an Athosian child badly pronounced the acronym for rest and relaxation.

He had suggested a visit to the Gardens of the Nulumn on the planet Muo. A mountain top plateau which boasted not only beautiful gardens, but a fantastic cliff top eatery that was fast becoming a favourite haunt of the personnel in Atlantis, the Colonel included, whenever they had some downtime. It served a most delicious sizzling dish called the Gnator Muo'sh platter that Rodney and John had taken a huge liking to. But even though the mere thought of the wildly tasty meat dish made his mouth water, the thought of pushing his damned chair up the winding narrow paths that crisscrossed the side of the Nulumn mountain was less than appealing. Flying up in the Puddle Jumper wasn't an option as the Muo'as had not only survived but thrived due to a dampening field surrounding the mountain and major settlements at its base, a similar dampening field to the one that brought down their Puddle Jumper on M7G-677.

He lay there trying to think of excuses to give John as to why he could not go out today, each excuse sounding lamer than the one before. The nightmare had placed his mood in one less willing to enjoy company let alone a day out, no matter how enjoyable the company or how good the food he could expect to eat.

His thoughts scattered when his door chimed to announce a visitor. Closing his eyes tight he grimaced; someone was here before he had even got out of bed and he wished them away, feeling annoyed. But he was sure that the person on the other side of the door would not leave any time soon as he knew full well who it was that waited there. He glanced at his clock and realised that they were not an early morning visitor but rather that he has slept in. Pulling himself into a sitting position, he arranged the covers around his body, hiding his withered legs, before pressing his custom made button to open the door from where he sat.

The door opened to reveal John Sheppard, leaning with one shoulder on the door jam, his legs stretched diagonally across the doorway as if he had been standing there for hours. He had an I-just-knew-you-were-still-in-bed expression on his face and a smug grin tugged at his mouth. He had his usual Arennar day stubble shadowing his face, which he argued he liked because it "looks cool", never admitting that he just plain refused to shave on his day off. His hair was tousled to perfection and Rodney found it hard to see the scar in his hairline that showed the place where John lost more than a bit of skin in the crash. He pushed himself from the doorjamb with his shoulder and sauntered into the room like he owned it, casually flopping down into the chair at the bottom of Rodney's bed. Rodney simply rolled his eyes, knowing what would come next and so wriggled down into the bed for the duration.

"I see that look on your face McKay. I didn't get out of my bed this morning to just sit around Atlantis. What excuses did you think up today?"

Rodney set his jaw and stared at him defiantly, raising his chin in his usual I-have-done-nothing-of-the-sort expression. John always seemed to know exactly what was going on in Rodney's mind by merely looking at him, something that infuriated the scientist no end. John merely shook his head and groaned as he leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees while staring at Rodney with eyes that say he wasn't going to argue about it.

"You have half an hour then I'm leaving. If I have to come back here and drag you out, so help me McKay, I will." He cocked his head forward, flicking his eyebrows up in his well known "Understood?" look.

Rodney shook his head crossly as John made his way back out of the door before stopping and looking back.

"Half an hour. Jumper bay." He said with finality then turned and left, whistling a light hearted tune as he wandered down the corridor.

The door closed, leaving Rodney staring at it for long minutes until that hint of a smile ghosted over his lips as it normally does when he decides that Arennar day might just be worth getting up for after all, then he hurried to get ready.

_TBC...Please leave a cookie comment! :D_


	2. Chapter 2

_**:D Thank you for the comments on the first chapter! I'm glad I posted it now :D I have a commissioned drawing to finish, so I thought I would throw this chapter up now and work on the next one next week. I hope you enjoy it. As always, feed me with cookie comments :D**_

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The PuddleJumper was parked about three hundred yards from the base of the mountain, at the very limit of the field on the nearest landing bay. John had apparently heard Rodney's silent pleas to park closer and not leave the Jumper where he normally parked it on the outskirts of the forest that surround Muo's Stargate. Making their way toward the busy main street, they saw a large Muoan waving at them eagerly from the doorway of his shop. He was a prime example of his species; large, muscular and powerful, his fur the deepest chestnut brown with red flecks on his face and long tail. A good friend of the two Lanteans, Bann was always very welcoming and looked forward to seeing them when they visited.

"Ah! Meetur John! Meetur Rodney! How is good that you come back, yes?" The large Muoan held out a furry hand towards John which he shook, smiling warmly.

"How's the business, Bann?" John asked nodding towards the impressive Muoan's shop.

"Yes! Yes! Business is good, yes! You need like something? I have things of many as Meetur John knows! Another dessert perhaps?" Bann smiled slyly at John, his bright green eyes twinkling with mischief.

"Maybe next time Bann, haven't quite got the taste of your Muo Tamfy out my mouth yet." John replied pulling a face as he remembered the taste of the thick black toffee like sweet.

"Your here friend not good to take warning Meetur Rodney, yes?" Bann laughed heartily and slapped Rodney on the shoulder, a playful gesture by all means, but a gesture that from a Muoan felt like a hard punch. "I told you, Muo Tamfy not for faint of heart!"

"Are the scoops flying today?" John asked, referring to the pair of small craft that shuttled customers to and from the plateau above.

"To the Gardens you are going today?" Bann asked, raising his impressively thick eyebrows. "Me thinks the weather be not too kind today. Shame that Jumper ship not able to take you atop."

"Yeah, well I've a hankering for a nice slice of Asam pie, Bann, and a little rain isn't going to put me off." John smiled.

"Ah, but small rain it wont be Meetur John. Seems to me that large rain more likely. Season change due me thinks, been long since had we a big storm and this one look like Dark Shift. Folks preparing." Bann motioned over his shoulder to the street behind where they could see that some of the traders were closing up their out shop displays while others were simply closing their shops completely.

"I'm sure the food will be worth it." John replied.

"Unfortunately, the scoops be still out of commission. Mayor keep say they be fixed next month, but next month comes never. But stop you by on way back down Meetur John, plenty Muo Tamfy for you!" Bann laughed, waving as John and Rodney made their way through the golden archway that began their ascent to the Gardens.

The path was not overly steep but it was long and winding and it wasn't long before Rodney's hands began to ache with the strain of pushing the wheelchair uphill. John kicked a stone ahead of them only to kick it farther along the path each time he reached it.

"Looks like Bann was right about the weather." He said, pointing towards the ever darkening sky.

It was now clearly evident that Muo's famously unpredictable weather was changing to what the Muoan's called the Dark Shift; erratic violent storms that would wreak havoc across the planet. Neither of them had ever experienced Dark Shift, but they had heard many stories about them from Bann. Wishing to get to the restaurant before the storm hit, they put their heads down and picked up the pace as the first gusts of wind blew across their faces.

No matter how many times they visited the Nulumn Restaurant, the beauty of the Gardens Plateau was never lost on them. From the clear running pools of the bluest water to the strange white trees clothed in golden leaves, it was little wonder that people from across the system visited Muo so often. When John opened the door to the restaurant, the delicious smell of food that came wafted out made their mouths instantly water. They were surprised to see only a handful of people within, most likely due to the warnings of Dark Shift moving in. An impeccably groomed Muoan welcomed them then showed them to a table looking out over the plateau before handing them each a menu that neither of them needed. John politely declined the menus and ordered a Gnator Muo'sh platter and a slice of Asam pie for each of them, thanking the waiter before resting his arms on the table.

"So you gonna to tell me what's been bothering you or am I gonna have to guess?" John asked.

Rodney shot him a look, surprised by the question.

"You've been moping around for a while now, burying yourself in your work, not speaking to anyone."

Raising one eyebrow, Rodney pointed to his mouth then made a snapping gesture with his hands sarcastically.

"Cut it out McKay, you know what I mean. Just because you can't talk, doesn't mean you can't speak and you know it."

He huffed out a deep breath as he toyed with his fork then shrugged his shoulders.

"You wanna talk?"

Rodney shook his head and tried to smile, not in the mood to discuss anything. It was with perfect timing that the waiter arrived with their food and Rodney was thankful when John seemed to forget his questions as the food was laid before him. Inhaling deeply, John let out a loud sigh as he lifted his cutlery. "Ah now this is what I'm talking about!" He said as he tucked straight into the steaming food.

While they ate, John spoke as Rodney tapped out responses on his tablet that he kept beside his dinner plate. They spoke about what they should watch at the next movie night, or about their their friends and what they had been doing. But as always, whenever John brought up anything about missions he had been on, Rodney felt a tug of sadness at not being able to join in the offworld missions with John and the team. Not once had he ever dissuaded John from talking about missions, he enjoyed hearing about what was happening out with Atlantis, but conversations like that were only a reminder of what he had lost. Given that Rodney's mood of late had been rather low, as John spoke about his most recent mission, Rodney looked at his plate absentmindedly while playing with his food until John stopped speaking. They ate on in silence, the awkwardness that fell between them almost palpable and Rodney was aware of John stealing worried glances towards him. He huffed and put his cutlery down then typed words out on his tablet.

_Stop staring at me and enjoy your meal._

"What? I'm worried about you, Rodney."

_There is nothing to worry about, I'm fine._

"Really? So the tantrum you had in the lab yesterday was fine. The outburst you had in Woolsey's office last week was fine, and the fact that you rarely speak to anyone anymore is just peachy, yeah?"

_I did not have a tantrum! If that idiot had just did what I told him..._

"You had a tantrum and you know it. I just need to know that you are okay."

Rodney stared at him for a few seconds, seeing the worry in his eyes. He could always trust John to see right through him and he loved him just for being able to still care despite Rodney's ability to push people away.

_I'm fine okay. I have my down days sure, everyone does._

"Yeah, but you seem to have had more down days that up ones recently."

_I know what you're thinking, but you can stop worrying. I'm not nearly as depressed as I was back then, and even though I appreciate your concern, it is obviously not warranted.  
_

John stared at him as if trying to read his mind before stuffing another forkful of food in his mouth.

"Okay, fine. But I'm here if you ever need to talk, you know that, right?"

_I know and I truly appreciate it. Now, can I get on with my meal before it gets cold?_

Before they even had the chance to have one more bite, the storm that they had seen developing finally hit the region and a massive thunderclap shook the transparent roof above them. The restaurant darkened significantly as the storm quickly escalated with gale force winds and rain so heavy that it had already began flooding the Plateau. The white trees outside shed their golden leaves with the ferocity of the gale winds and they looked like strange skeletal remains as they were blown about in the relentless onslaught.

The Muoan who had shown them to their table started to strike a small gong at the far end of the restaurant before clearing his throat to speak with a loud growling voice.

"Afraid me having to ask that people be leaving. Large storm be coming on us now and for safety of peoples, best to home be before full Dark Shift, yes? Restaurant it closing and partial credit given upon leaving."

John and Rodney were the last out as the other people in the restaurant bustled to leave as quickly as they could. With their card stamped with credit for free Asam pie the next time they visited, they both ventured out into the heavy rain and sweeping gales that signaled a miserable end to their Arennar day.

The heavy rain pelted relentlessly upon their heads as they made their way back down the mountainside on the now treacherous path. The five feet wide track was currently awash with running water making the normally hard baked mud path a slick and sticky quagmire. The fencing that traced the edge of the path, an apparent barrier of safety on the ledge, did little to make them feel any safer as some of the panels were shook loose by the wind and thrown into the air. Rodney tried to keep away from both the inner and outer edges of the path, as both were teeming with the runoff from the Gardens above and he huffed as he tried to hurry along the path, wanting nothing better than to get back to the Jumper and out of this storm.

_If I'd stayed in bed I wouldn't be caked head to toe in mud. And I would be dry!_ He thought sourly as the rain soaked through his pants. The mud was squelching beneath his wheels and soon his gloves looked like they would only be fit for the trash by the time they got home. His hands occasionally slipped off the wheel rim, infuriatingly halting his progress, but still he refused to allow John to push him. In the two years since his wheelchair arrived on Atlantis allowing him to finally get around under his own steam, Rodney had only permitted someone to push his chair once and that had been when they were taking it away for a service. John would never cross that line and take control of his friends chair, no matter how much he wanted too. It was freezing cold and the miserable look that twisted his face managed to convey just the right amount of loathing and wretchedness for their situation as they slowly made their way down the treacherous path back to the Jumper.

_Let's go to Muo he said. Grab some lunch, it'll be fun he said. Well this is as much fun as being entertained by a Doranth belly dancer._ Rodney thought heatedly.

He quickly admonished himself for thinking that way, knowing that John had given up more than enough of his time in the past couple of years in order to ensure that he was still kept part of the team, continuing to do so long after his apparent survivors guilt should have worn off. And although he was currently soaking through to the short and curlies, Rodney never appreciated John more. But it was beginning to get harder to appreciate this particular Arennar day, no matter how many good intentions had been poured into it. The wheelchair got progressively harder to push and more than once Rodney mentally cursed when his hands failed to grip the wheel rim and slid off forcefully instead.

"Come on McKay, no one will ever know I pushed the damn chair." John moaned loudly over the din of the rain as he trudged beside him, kicking up sprays of dirty water and mud with his feet.

Rodney shot him a long and wavering look that said more than his now silent words ever could, leaving John to shake his head as he continued down the rain churned path. The storm intensified and became a deafening roar which silenced almost everything else. Eventually the wheelchair became so bogged down that he found it almost impossible to move on his own. He slapped the wheels in frustration as water continued to pour down his face and drip annoyingly off the end his nose and chin. John kept on walking, passing McKay while shaking his head making it clear he was pissed, but even though McKay couldn't blame him for being so, he wasn't about to give in and make this journey any easier on either of them. McKay was pissed too, but he dared not show it in case he lost all chances of Arennar completely. Not that he thought John would call a halt to their outings, but he really didn't want to push the issue with him at the moment as by the hunch of his shoulders he was sure that John might just leave him there given it was his own stubbornness that was making the journey back harder than it ought to be.

He stared at the back of John's head, wishing he could shout something annoying at him while hating the fact that he couldn't. Taking off one of his mucky gloves to throw at John, he stopped when he noticed a movement above them. A deluge of mud began to pour over the upper ledge, a mudslide coming down from the Gardens above swiftly carrying large boulders with it. John continued walking, his head down between his hunched shoulders, completely unaware of the danger that he was walking beneath. A hoarse cry emitted unbidden from Rodney's throat and at the worst possible moment, John stopped and turned to look back only to be struck on the side of the head by one of the plummeting rocks. Rodney saw John's legs collapsed beneath him and he fell into the path of the now thick and fast mudslide which began to carry his limp body dangerously close to the eroding edge of their path. By some saving grace, John's body lodged against a lone fence post and without thinking, Rodney unbuckled his safety belt then threw himself out of his chair. He began to crawl towards the stricken pilot whose legs were being pushed slowly over the edge and Rodney knew that any second now, John would go over and be lost. He pulled himself laboriously through the wet mud and grime towards John, his fingers finding little purchase on the slimy path. All the could think about was how close he was to losing John and it spurred him forward.

The rain poured cold and hard on his back as he slipped over the path on his stomach, slime coating almost every inch of him. He was taken by the swell of the mudslide and pushed inexorably towards John, sure that he was going to push them both over the edge, but he used everything he had to hook his arm around the post and anchor himself, grabbing hold of John just as his legs slipped over the edge and pulled him down. Rodney tried to heave him back up as the mud and water poured relentlessly over John's unconscious form, but he could not budge him even an inch. His grip loosened as John's bogged down weight pulled at his shoulders and he cried out in pain when one of them popped. He nearly let go of John in that moment of pain and panic, his fingers slipping on the now slick material of his sleeve, making him call out John's name in fear without consciously thinking to. The mudslide made John's weight increase as it bogged him down and Rodney realised that his weight might just be enough to snap the now creaking fence post and pull them both over the edge. His arms, strong and powerful from pushing his wheelchair over many different terrains, managed to haul John closer in an increased effort to save them both, managing to secure a better hold on his friend.

He lay there on his stomach as the torrent of filth and detritus increased and continued to pour over them both. He dared not let go or move now lest they both be swept away. It was then that he heard the groan from beneath him and he opened the eyes he had squeezed shut, to looked down to see the shocked and dazed eyes of John Sheppard who was struggling to keep his face out of the mess that poured down onto him. The side of his head was matted with blood and mud and Rodney could see that although he was awake he was far from fully conscious. He sucked in deep breaths as he maneuvered John's out-turned weight to face him and John automatically grabbed for a hold on the ledge while Rodney adjusted his position to divert most of the falling mud and debris from John's face. Rodney gestured with his head for John to pull himself up but the dazed pilot shook his head, his dull eyes partially closed and then dared to let go of the ledge and grab for the communicator that had long been dislodged from his ear. The movement caused Rodney's left hand to lose grip of John which made his body swing wildly and the fence post creak and groan loudly under the shifting weight. Water and mud poured over John who began to panic as he was slowly suffocated by the steady flow, his body flailing about over the open space. Rodney frantically clawed at John's clothes to try and secure his second hold again, his fingers finally digging painfully into John's shoulder and the man reacted with a furious roar. Their eyes locked and Rodney ignored the anger in his friends stare as he grit his teeth and shook slime from his face. Drawing in short breaths he tried to speak, but the only sounds he could make were more like gasps than words. The anger in John's eyes faded as they widened in anticipation, seeing what Rodney was attempting to do. Mouthing silently, Rodney forced air through his vocal chords, willing the words to come and soon he was making sounds that encouraged him to try harder. Soft words formed and fell from his mouth that couldn't be heard over the noise of the storm so Rodney gasped another deep breath then forced it out in a loud, rough shout.

"Trust me John! Climb up!"

The words galvanized John into doing as Rodney asked and he smiled up at him with mud caked face that seemed to have a look of pride on it. Rodney felt the strain in his back and shoulders increase as John used his body like a rope and began to haul himself clear of the chasm. McKay grunted under the pressure that popped his joints rhythmically, gritting his teeth against the waves of resultant pain. Managing to pull himself over the slippery edge on the third attempt, John landed like a heap on the path, breathing hard with relief, then grabbed Rodney's arm and pulled him from the edge and away from the mudslide.

"Thanks." he gasped. "I owe you one."

Rodney turned gingerly onto his back, groaning as it cracked painfully.

"Owe...me...nothing." He gasped through a clenched jaw as he massaged his sore shoulder, closing his eyes. "I...owe you...much more."

A shadow loomed over him and he opened his eyes to find John hunkered beside him, offering his hand to help. Taking John's hand, he allowed the man to pull him into a sitting position but Rodney was shocked when John then suddenly pulled him up and onto his feet then over into his wheelchair in one fluid movement. He didn't even have the energy to be angry at John as he watched the man stagger before sitting back down in the mud, rubbing his pained head. They sat there a while in shocked silence, getting thoroughly soaked as they thought about what had just happened. John grunted with irritation as he pulled drying muck from his now less than perfect hair, wincing as it tugged painfully at his recent head injury.

"Let's get out of here." He shouted, getting to his feet and wiping his hands on his BDU's in a futile attempt to clean them. "I need a hot shower."

Rodney just nodded, too tired and sore to try speaking again. Every inch of him hurt, old injuries and new and a heavy fatigue had set in both mentally and physically. He wished that he had brought his painkillers but they were back at the Jumper and it didn't look like they were making it back any time soon until John walked behind his chair and started to push it awkwardly down the path.

"St..stop!" Rodney gasped as he squirmed in his seat angrily, "Don't!"

John stopped the chair and leaned forward until his head was next to Rodney's.

"Now you, trust me." He said in that low but no nonsense voice he reserved especially for a snarky Mckay. Rodney's shoulders slumped in acceptance and so he tried to enjoy the less than pleasant ride back to the Jumper. It seemed a little easier for John than it had been for him to push the thing, but the going was still rather tough until John decided that it would be better to turn the chair and haul it down backwards.

After what felt like an eternity, they finally made it back down the mountain and crossed the now deserted main street. Even Bann was no where to be seen, finally giving in and shutting up shop. The sky continued to darken as the storm intensified and the name for the weather phenomenon seemed perfectly appropriate as it was almost completely dark by the time they managed to reach the Jumper. The hatch closed behind them and John reached for a canteen of water that he had tucked behind his seat, swallowing the clean cool water before offering some to Rodney, who refused and stripped off a mud caked shirt to the t-shirt underneath which was just as filthy. With the ship powered up, John turned to look at Rodney with a boyish grin on his face that Rodney ignored as he slipped into his seat and buckled up.

"You know, it's good to hear your voice again McKay." John said as he looked forward and raised the ship from the soaking ground.

Rodney smiled. "At least I now know it's not...permanent." His voice was hoarse, little more than a whisper and despite feeling awkward and self conscious, he was happy. "But it means you have to put up with my rants again."

John chuckled and looked back to him, merriment in his eyes. "Your rants never stopped Rodney, they just changed in the way they were communicated." He said with a laugh. "Anyway, it's not been much fun arguing with you, I've missed your witty comebacks."

"Har har." Rodney could not help but smile, but his throat was aching and his head felt heavy and sore. "Do you...mind if I shut up now...and sleep?" He asked, rubbing his forehead.

"Knock yourself out." John replied with a smile, "But not litere..."

But Rodney was already asleep, his eyes closed firmly as the purring of his snore increased, making John smile contentedly. It didn't really surprise him that Rodney did not speak the entire way home, but he found it a very lonely journey, one that he was not used to now and he found himself wanting to hear Rodney's rambling dreams playing out as he took them back to Atlantis. But with the words spoken in panic, things had changed for Rodney, and for John.

But John was nowhere near aware of just how different things would become.

_TBC...please feed me! :D_


	3. Chapter 3

_**So glad I started this now as you all seem to be pleased at Skyward's continuation! Thank you so much for the comments, it is because of them that this chapter is going up early :D I forgot to say, I did artwork for both Skyward and Unforeseen and if you are interested you can see it on my deviant art, look for the-Dreaming-Dragon and look under Fan Art (Hope that works! Leave me comments on them if you like!) I hope this chapter is ok, I wrote it rather fast to get it up before I continue with my commission. Thanks for the cookie comments! They feed my soul no end!**_

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Rodney was more than willing to tell anyone who would listen about what had happened on Muo the week before. In fact, pretty much everyone on Atlantis had heard the story of the heroic actions that saved John Sheppard's life, mostly because Rodney told everyone with his newly regained voice. In the six days since the happenings on Muo, there was a significant return to his old self; people commented on how the old McKay was back. Self assured, reliable McKay, able to fully communicate his views and ideas as well as reprimand and argue his point perfectly clear.

Even though he wheeled about Atlantis with a new found confidence, John was convinced that all may not be as it seemed. He was sure that he was beginning to see familiar cracks in his friends composure, cracks that made John feel the need to intervene. While most people felt that Rodney was an open book; easy to read and understand, John was more aware than most that Rodney had long ago created a mask to hide behind, a mask that rarely slipped. He wore his heart on his sleeve but managed to hide himself from everyone, except John. Since the accident, the two had become very close friends, like two inseparable brothers and this gave them both the unique ability to read each other almost perfectly.

John had seen it before, the undoing of the man who strove to hide any and all weaknesses that he had from others, the same man who had ended up using a disability aid as a weapon against anyone who tried to get close to him. He had managed to convince everyone that he was perfectly adjusted to his predicament and even though his newly regained speech might have made the scene that little bit more believable, John saw that things were not as they seemed behind those blue eyes, as he had suspected for some time now. In fact, he had already attempted to broach the subject on Muo, to no real ends.

He had began to notice the darkness in the eyes of his friend some time ago and the fact that Rodney was beginning to withdraw from human contact once more, had John on alert. He was also becoming distant and secretive while going through the motions to make everything appear normal. Perhaps the fact that he was speaking again bolstered the cheerful facade and was the reason that no one else seemed to have noticed or were worried.

But he had witnessed Rodney's descent into hell before and had managed to help his friend through it twice; once after his breakup with Jennifer Keller, and the second more catastrophic time, after the crash. He had went to such great lengths to drag Rodney from that particular depression that he had no intentions of allowing him to fall so far again.

The last time that he had to pick up the pieces of a McKay meltdown, he had been lucky to pull the man back from the brink of utter destruction. John had tried to understand how he had failed to see the extent of Rodney's mental anguish back then. He knew he had no excuse, he'd seen the cracks appearing, just not soon enough and Rodney had descended far into his own hell long before John had realised that something was wrong. So he made a promise to himself as well as a silent one to Rodney; that he would watch out for those tell tale signs in the future and act on them quicker than before. What he was seeing now was similar to what he had witnessed in the weeks following his break up with Jennifer Keller.

Months before the crash that had nearly killed them both, Atlantis had returned to the Pegasus Galaxy from Earth with Carson Beckett back in command of the medical team. While Atlantis had been grounded, Jennifer had received news of her fathers failing health and had decided to stay on Earth to care for him, giving up her chance to see the Pegasus Galaxy again. She never once asked Rodney to stay behind with her, knowing full well that the scientists love for the city and Pegasus was as great as his love for her. But he surprised her when he turned up at her flat while she was packing her things to move in with her father, adamant that he was staying behind to be with and support her. She knew that he would never be happy and with all the will that she possessed, she broke his heart with clichés such as "It's for the best", and "It would never work out." and finally, "I don't love you the way you love me." An anger exploded in Rodney that John had never seen before and the man went all out to prove that the woman he had considered to be the love of his life, had in fact been nothing more than a very long casual fling and that she meant nothing to him, nor him to her. Despite this, after the crash and when John was well enough to be discharged from the hospital, his first thought was to contact Jennifer to let her know how ill Rodney was. She had tried to make arrangements to get back to Atlantis and be by Rodney's side, but through things not in her control, she was unable to return. It had been Jennifer that arranged the fitting and making of the custom wheelchair which John guessed was as much for her own peace of mind as for Rodney's comfort. It was the last that John ever heard from her. Rodney knew of course where the chair had come from and John wondered more than once if this was part of the reason why he hated the damned thing so much. In some twisted way, the wheelchair was a constant reminder not only of his disability, but of the woman that he had lost.

His moods at that time had been explosive and it had been hard for anyone to spend any length of time with him before he fired up over something trivial and blasted them with a barrage of insults which saw them hurriedly leaving to rant on his own. He was self destructive, would not eat and lived on coffee almost entirely as he threw himself into his work. More than once John had found him slumped at his desk, sweat pouring from him as his blood sugar plummeted.

Then again, after he woke from his coma and found that he would be chair bound, his mood had dropped like a nuclear bomb and the same devastation occurred in his mind. Unable to speak his mind or his fears, Rodney took to disappearing, withdrawing from human contact and falling down into a desperate spiral to a hell that he was unable to drag himself from. Looking back, John saw the desperation in him; the over working and the attitude that he fought to hide, but he had seen it too late. It had taken John many weeks to bring Rodney back from the brink of despair. He had vowed to do everything in his power to help Rodney never fall so low again, which was why he was so worried now. The signs were showing again, it was time for John to act before Rodney fell once more.

This worry was the reason why he had waited so long in the mess hall for their prearranged lunch break, so that he could try and figure out what was wrong and put it out there, that should Rodney need anything, he only had to ask. He had been waiting almost forty five minutes, had already eaten his lunch and was finishing his third cup of coffee when he decided to go looking for McKay, since he was not even answering his hails. He cleared away his tray and walked out of the mess hall, only to be hit by a speeding wheelchair that took his legs forcefully from beneath him. Rodney was wide eyed and apologetic, but John was hardly in the mood for his apology, given that he had landed hard on his ass on the floor.

"What the hell McKay?!"

"Sorry...John..."

John went to say more but stopped when he noticed the slight shake of Rodney's hands. Sweat was beaded on his forehead and his eyes had a strange unfocussed look, as if he couldn't really see John at all and he knew immediately that Rodney's blood sugar was plummeting. He got quickly to his feet and walked back into the mess hall to have a late lunch with him, if only to make sure that he ate something substantial. One sugary drink later and Rodney was getting stuck into his lunch as if he had not eaten for days.

"I ...I just lost track of time." He said between mouthfuls of crammed food, the shaking in his hands diminishing. "When I realised the time I got here as quickly as I could."

"Yeah, I noticed." John said wryly. "You know that you should eat regularly, what the hell are you playing at? In fact, what's going on with you? You're not eating properly, you disappear for hours on end and I'm beginning to think that you're trying to avoid me." The direct approach, John decided, was always kinder to McKay in the long run.

Rodney placed the fork he was holding back onto the plate as he chewed what was left in his mouth. His eyes had darkened, his eyebrows lowered and a slight tick had started pulling at the left side of his mouth, a dead give away that something wasn't quite right. John knew all of Rodney's tells.

"Nothing is wrong. I'm perfectly fine." He said as he raised his mug of coffee.

"Bull crap. You're not fine and you know it."

"I just need some space." he said as he dabbed at his mouth with a napkin before throwing it onto the cleared plate. "As a matter of fact, I need some space right now." He pushed his plate away and tugged at the wheels of his chair, pulling away from the table and from John.

John shot a hand out as Rodney passed, laying it gently but firmly on his arm.

"Rodney..."

"Get, your hand, off me."

John was surprised by the words and the tone in which they were spoken, but what hurt the most was the hateful look in his eyes. The look made him snatch his hand away, not quite sure what the man would do should he keep it there any longer.

"I..."

"Don't John, just...just leave me alone."

They regarded each other, both knowing what the other was thinking having been in the same situation before. Rodney had tried to push John away many times, but never in such a manner as this.

"I thought we could go back to Muo and cash in on that credit for Asam pie tomorrow. It's Arennar day after all." John said, confused and at a loss as to what else to say.

"Like I could forget." Rodney said as he wheeled himself out of the mess hall.

Those four words alone verified to John that he had every right to be concerned; Rodney always turned a good thing into a weapon when he was angry at something. He decided that it could not wait until tomorrow, knew that if he left it, Rodney would fester in his anger. Leaving the lunch trays on the table, he ran after him, eventually catching up as Rodney entered his room.

"Right," John said as he squeezed by the closing door into the room. "I wanna know what the hell is going on, and don't tell me you are fine, 'cause I don't believe you."

"Get out! How dare you barge in here uninvited?!" McKay spat furiously.

"You've been here before Rodney. _We've_, been here before. What's wrong with you?"

Rodney's eyes darted around the room while his hands fidgeted as his anger dissipated and was replaced with nervousness.

"It's nothing. I've been doing some important research that's..."

"Cut the bull, McKay. What's really going on?" John sat himself on the bed in front of Rodney, waiting on an answer.

McKay stared back for as long as he could stand it but in the end John won out and Rodney sighed in defeat.

"I've been thinking about something."

"You don't say..."

"Yes, well, it's all very good for you, Teyla and Ronon to go off gallivanting with Radek while I sit in Atlantis working on the mundane and tedious." He spat out Radek's name viciously, never realizing how bitter he sounded.

"Rodney..."

"Well I'm going to change that. I'm going to change everything back." Rodney said, suddenly unable to look at John's unwavering gaze.

"I thought we'd been through this, you're still a vital part of my team and always will be whether you are here or not! You can't change this Rodney, though God knows if I could I would and you know that."

"I can and I will change it. Do you remember the ascension lab, the one that rewrote my DNA a few years back?"

"Yeah, how could I forget."

"I've been thinking about it for a while now, more so since we got back from Muo. It struck me that my inability to speak was merely a state of mind, which reminded me that ascending was also a state of mind, which in turn made me remember the Ascension machine. When I triggered it before, the whole process was familiar to me, I knew that I had seen something similar before but had no idea where, probably because my mind was filled with so many other things at the time. A few days ago it hit me where I had seen it, or at least a modified version of it." He said excitedly reaching for his tablet from the ever present bag that hung on the back of his chair. Lifting the tablet, he beckoned John closer as he flicked through files. John read the screen, his eyes widening as he recognised what Rodney was showing him.

"A sarcophagus?" He asked incredulously.

"Yes! The Goaul'd stole much of their technology from different races, modifying them to their own needs. I knew that the sarcophagus must have originated somewhere highly technological, but it never crossed my mind until now that it originated in the Pegasus Galaxy!"

"Are you trying to tell me that the Goaul'd stole their idea from the ascension machine?"

"Think about it. The ascension machine fixes and alters the body for ascension. The sarcophagus is merely a modified ascension machine! Imagine what this could do for people, for me!"

John's earlier anger at being stood up and run over dissipated as he watched Rodney's animated explanation of why he had been spending so much time alone recently. John could almost see the old Rodney, the before-the-crash Rodney whose long winded explanations had been missed by all in the past two years. But the more he spoke, the more agitated and upset he became as his explanation came to the conclusion that John found he had been expecting.

"I can't live like this any longer, John. If there is even a...chance..." He fell silent, his head lowered, staring at the tablet on his lap. "You nearly died the last week and all I could do was hold onto you, what use is that?"

And there it was, the explanation for the recent melancholy that he had seen in Rodney's eyes. The room filled with an uneasy silence as John found himself unsure of what to say. He had helped Rodney through this before, but there was something more urgent than usual in his need to walk again. It was quite clear to John now as he looked at those openly sad eyes that Rodney was heading towards a fall similar to the ones he had witnessed in the past. It actually hurt to think that Rodney felt so little of himself, that he even failed to acknowledge that he had in fact saved John's life that day. He stared at him for long moments, trying to find the words to soothe him and failed, so decided instead to try and steer the conversation in a different direction.

"I seem to remember there being a problem with those damned coffins."

Rodney's shoulders drooped and he sighed exasperatedly. "Don't you think that I have taken that into consideration?" He said grumpily, more upset that John was not as excited as he was at the prospect of the machine fixing his broken, useless limbs. "I am currently rewriting some of the code so that it leaves my mind alone."

"But it nearly killed you!" John could not help but have serious doubts about using the machine again.

"It won't this time." Rodney said angrily through gritted teeth while breathing quickly, his body shaking with anger and frustration. As if his vocal chords were starting to fail again, he seemed unable to speak without gasping out the words he was saying and the more upset and anxious he became, the worse the impediment became.

"I would rather...take the chance...of it nearly killing me...than remain...in this chair in pain...any longer." Rodney smashed a fisted hand into the arm of the wheelchair and nearly launched his tablet across the room with the other.

"Whoa whoa, let's just settle back down there." John said gently as he lowered Rodney's raised hand.

Rodney sighed miserably as he placed the tablet back on his lap and played his fingers over its display. As the panic left him, he managed to get his breathing back under control and found it easier to speak again.

"I just can't go on living here like this. You have no idea what it is like every day to wake up in agony and know that the pain will never end and that it only gets worse when you sit in a chair that you hate with every fibre of your being, all damned day. If I don't try this, or if this doesn't work, I already have my transfer request for Earth written up. So either help me...or lose me."

"You're hitting me with an ultimatum?"

Rodney shrugged and set his jaw in the familiar way that John had seen before, meaning that he did not intend to change his mind any time soon, for anyone. John was angry at Rodney, but more so with himself for letting it get this far without doing anything. He remembered what happened the last time this machine was fired up, so vividly that it shocked him silent as images filled his mind; Rodney as he rocked violently in seizure on his bed, Rodney falling to the floor screaming in agony. Twisting, crying, dying. He couldn't watch that happen again, couldn't take the chance of losing him.

"Well, I would rather lose you to Earth, than lose you forever." He said, his voice almost a whisper, knowing how much the statement would hurt Rodney.

"But..."

"I can't believe that you care so little about yourself, or me for that matter, to even want to risk this! Have I ever, _ever _ made you feel any less of a person? Have I ever made you feel left out?" John's own anger and hurt fueled his speech and while one part of him wanted to shut up, his anger overruled all sense and he barged on regardless. "You would rather take the chance with your life with no regard to how it could effect others, effect me? I knew you were selfish McKay, but this?"

"Just wait a minute..."

"No you wait a damned minute! I can't let you take the chance of dying." he said getting to his feet, trying to ignore the dark look that he saw passing over McKay's face.

"What? I..."

"I've said all I'm gonna on the matter."

As he turned and walked away from Rodney, he heard the unmistakable sound of weeping and although his heart stalled in his chest, he continued walking towards the door. He never realised just how damned depressed Rodney really was. Even though he knew that he was a master of creating the illusion of normality, John suddenly felt like a massive fraud, for how could he be a friend and not see any of this in the eyes of his closest friend? He had failed Rodney and continued to fail him as he walked out the door and let it close behind him, leaving the chair bound scientist alone in his misery.

John walked a few paces down the empty corridor before the enormity of it hit him and he stopped walking to lean against the wall, his stomach churning and hating himself. He had the awful feeling that he had only made things worse, that his point blank refusal to have any part of what Rodney intended was an insult to their friendship. But he was unable to see the merit of dying if things went wrong as he was sure they would, it was just too risky to chance. He silently chastised himself for being so heartless in his choice of words, but he felt that sometimes, being blunt with McKay was the best action, even though it left them both feeling terrible.

Sighing, he pushed off from the wall and headed to the gym, something that he often did whenever his mind was in conflict. He hoped that he could come up with a better way to help Rodney, while praying that perhaps Rodney would already have taken heed of his words.

_TBC... Leave me cookies! :D_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Wow! You all really want to know what is going to happen huh? I sat and wrote this last night during my break as I couldn't make you wait any longer. I'm not 100% happy with it, but I felt it had to go up as you have all waited so long. I'll have another look at it after a sleep and amend what needs amending. So I hope you can enjoy it despite it being a bit shorter and quickly written! Sorry it has taken so long, and thank you all so much for the comments! Keep them coming! :D**_

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John kicked at a small scrunched up empty packet of peanuts that he had thrown across the room just moments before he got to his feet. He took a languid stroll around the Jumper bay for the fourth time in the past half hour, frequently hailing Rodney who didn't even have the decency to answer him. He nodded acknowledgement to a team who passed on their way to leave on a mission and his mood quickly went downhill as he finally accepted that he had been stood up. Kicking the peanut packet out into the corridor, he hoped to see McKay rushing towards him with an apologetic look upon his face, but he didn't. He found it hard to believe that Rodney would have forgotten or slept in as he had spoken with him at suppertime and reminded him of their morning jaunt. Rodney had said that he was looking forward to it, went as far as to say he was eager to speak to Bann properly for the first time in their long friendship. He even conceded that his whole idea concerning the ascension machine had been a simple flight of fancy that John had every right to be worried about, and that it had gotten him excited until the obvious had been pointed out to him. He apologized for his earlier anger and then had left for bed, saying that he would see John in the morning. Though John was sure of the sincerity of his words, the fact that he once again found himself waiting on the tardy scientist, made him begin to worry. He kicked the empty packet harder and watched as it bounced off the leg of a small Athosian who had just turned the corner, accompanied by a towering Satedan.

"Nice shot." Ronon growled, looking anything but impressed.

"Yes, very." Teyla smiled as she picked the packet up and disposed of it in her pocket. "I thought that you and Rodney would have left by now."

"Yeah, seems Rodney has other ideas."

"Perhaps he has slept in?"

"Who knows? You joining us for lunch?"

"I'm afraid we are to meet with and escort the mayor of Taui back to Atlantis for a meeting with Mr Woolsey, although I would much prefer to share a nice meal with you all."

"Maybe next time."

"I look forward to it."

Throughout the short conversation Ronon merely stared darkly at John, his jaw clenched tightly. Only now that there was a lull in the conversation, did the Satedan speak.

"Keep an eye on him." He said, stared pointedly, then walked to the Jumper bay.

Teyla raised an eyebrow and sighed as she said goodbye to John and hurried to catch up with Ronon whose long stride had already carried him to the back of their Jumper.

The warning was as expected as it was ominous. John was not the only one who blamed Rodney's injuries and resultant state on himself, Ronon did also. Both men had always felt it was their responsibility to protect Rodney from himself and any situation that arose which might cause him harm. Both John and Ronon had an unspoken agreement on this matter and while Rodney was aware of them looking out for him, he had very little idea of the lengths they had gone to protect him in the past. The fact was, Ronon felt that John had dropped the ball when they had crashed and while John agreed that the entire situation was his fault, he never got used to Ronon's blame and coldness. Teyla continually reminded them both that it was the wraith who was to blame, for all the good it did. She had tried her best to keep the teams spirit alive, but she knew she was failing miserably and felt frustrated with the situation. It wasn't the first time that she had sat them both down to discuss the problem only to watch them quietly stare at the walls or their feet, anywhere but at each other. Eventually she had come to terms with the fact that John and Ronon had become just as distant as John and Rodney had become close. They still worked effectively together, but there was a slight bitterness to Ronon's eyes when they spoke, which now, was pretty much never.

But Ronon's warning proved that he had the same concerns as John, otherwise he wouldn't have said anything to him at all, so at least John knew he wasn't imagining things. He watched as the two disappeared inside the Jumper then, deciding that Teyla was probably right, he left to go find Rodney. But he wasn't in his room, the mess hall or his lab and a sinking feeling in the pit of John's stomach grew, prompting him to call on Chuck to locate Rodney.

"Scan indicates that Doctor McKay is in the lower level, umm, he appears to be in the ascension lab, Sir." Chuck answered, confirming John's fears.

Thanking Chuck, he hurried down the corridor towards the transporter as fast as he could. His feeling of unease increased as he thought about what he might find when he got there, feverently hoping that he was wrong. Barely having time to stop, he ran into the transporter and felt the warm tug in the centre of his being as it transferred him to one of the lower levels of Atlantis.

The corridors had long been pumped dry of flood water, but it had been left with a strong musty damp smell, ingrained in the walls and floors despite the best efforts to clean them. Normally this level was in darkness, powered down in order to conserve energy, but there was dim lighting the length of the corridor where someone had overridden the commands. John's stomach churned as the ascension lab door opened, but he was relieved to find Rodney sitting on the edge of his wheelchair, staring up at a screen displaying reams of ghostly ancient. His arrival went unnoticed as Rodney continued to stare at the screen while muttering to himself. His tablet was connected to the console in front of him and his fingers danced over it with well practiced ease. It wasn't until John exaggeratedly cleared his throat that Rodney jumped in fright, nearly dropping his tablet as he twisted in the chair to see who stood behind him.

"What...? John? What are...you...? Oh." He finished sheepishly, his grip tightening on the tablet while pulling it closer to his chest, hiding the screen.

"Yeah, _oh_. You mind telling me why you're down here while I'm making my ass square waiting for you in the Jumper bay?" John snapped angrily, unimpressed by Rodney's guilty look.

"Huh. Is that the time?" Rodney said as he took a quick uninterested look at the watch on his wrist.

"Yeah McKay, that's the time. What the hell are you doing down here? After everything that we discussed yesterday?!" John asked.

Rodney's expression changed from guilt to a look of weary annoyance as he placed the tablet on the ground and unbuckled his seatbelt. "I am simply having a look. I'm not planning on doing anything, merely satisfying my curiosity." He pushed himself from the wheelchair and eased down onto the platform the ascension machine sat on.

"Curiosity? This goes _way_ beyond curiosity." John replied, gesturing to the set up around the platform. Wires and cables lay all around, running between the console and a laptop tucked beneath it. There was other equipment strewn everywhere and now Rodney sat amongst it all, staring up at John as if it was quite normal.

"I'm only wanting to see if it had actually been a viable option. That's all."

"And that's taken what? All morning? All night?" John asked, pretty sure of the answer as there was a considerable amount of energy bar wrappers lying around.

"I already told you I lost track of time. I never got to look at it properly the last time, it really is quite fascinating how much..."

"Yeah, I'm sure it's all very fascinating, but this is the second time that you've kept me waiting and I sure would like to get to Muo before Christmas."

"Well go then, no one's stopping you!" Rodney shouted, his face turning red with anger as his nostrils flared.

John saw the madness in Rodney's eyes, a slip of his self control showing the chaos beneath the near perfect veneer of normality. Gritting his teeth, Rodney lay himself onto his back then reached up into the bowels of the console and then ignored John who stood in mute anger watching him. For the first time in a long time, John didn't care what Rodney did. He suddenly found himself sick and tired of the mans outbursts and crazy ideas, sick to the teeth of arguing and playing the nice guy. As he watched Rodney playing around with cables and crystals, he just wanted to get out of there and clear his head. He knew his anger stemmed almost entirely from his inability to make Rodney see sense, but there was only so many times a person could give advice and have it thrown back in their face.

"Tell you what McKay, do what the hell you like. I'm outta here." Not even waiting on a reply, he spun on his heels and walked towards the door with the intent of leaving.

Then the inevitable happened, and it happened with such speed that later John would question whether or not he would have been able to stop it had he not walked away. Hearing the whirring sound of machinery starting up, he turned back to see Rodney struggling beneath the console.

"Oh God...John? JOHN!" Rodney's fear filled voice told him in a gut wrenching instant that Rodney had activated the ascension machine and wether it had been deliberate or not, he was sure that he wouldn't reach him in time. "John?! Help! I can't get out!"

He ran back towards the scared man, throwing the wheelchair to the side in order to grab him and pull him free. But something was evidently wrong as the console crackled and fizzed, sending an intense shower of sparks over a struggling Rodney who tried in vain to remove himself from the platform. As John reached to take hold of Rodney's legs, a bolt of electricity shot from the console and threw him backwards to land a few feet away. He shakily got back to his feet and a roar tore from his throat when he saw the machine release a powerful bright blue beam down onto the platform. When the machine had first been discovered and had activated, it had snaked a bright light around Rodney's body and removed itself moments later in a graceful and gentle way. But there was nothing graceful or gentle about it this time as the violent force of power that burst from the ceiling encompassed Rodney's entire body in what looked like blue flames that made him scream and writhe in agony.

Staggering back to the platform, John reached and grabbed desperately for the screaming scientist, but every time he tried to even place a hand on him, the eerie blue flames would sear his skin. With every failed attempt, his hands and arms became more burned and blistered but he couldn't stand back and do nothing as Rodney burned. Trying a different approach he kicked at the console in an attempt to stop the machine, but he soon became incapacitated by a loud vibrating hum that filled the room as it grew quickly in intensity until John had to clamp his hands over his ears. His hands did little to keep the noise out as the sound grew so loud as to shake his bones, his knees gave while a pain in his head increased. Thrashing on the ground, it felt as if his entire body was vibrating with the ear splitting sound and he screamed when the pressure became so much that it felt as if his head would explode. Even though the noise filled his entire being, he continued to hear Rodney's shrieking screams as he suffered within the blue flames. Twisting, he managed to turn his head towards the platform and he could see Rodney twitching and jerking until he convulsed so violently that it seemed as if he was going to break in two. His screaming stopped as his eyes flew wide open, his mouth twisted in a silent scream and John attempted to push through his own pain to try and reach him, but the sound interfered with his body mechanics and he found that he could do no more than weakly pull himself into a tight ball.

As abruptly as it had began, the noise stopped as the blue beam vanished, leaving both men gasping and shaking. Tendrils of smoke rose lazily from Rodney's clothes though the material was neither scorched or burned. His body continued to tremble, muscles contracting and relaxing uncontrollably, his head shaking back and forth, yet he was surprisingly uninjured, unlike John. There were no burns or blisters on Rodney's skin and John stared in confusion, his mind addled by pain and shock. He was unable to think straight or coordinate his body to move towards Rodney and he hovered for long moments between consciousness and blackness until the pain eventually passed and gave him back some control. With great effort, he managed to drag himself over to the platform, wary that the machine might activate again. Gripping Rodney's arm, he could feel his body quivering and the burning heat that radiated from him. His mouth opened and closed spasmodically as blood trickled from his ears, the sight of which made John wipe at his own, finding that they too had been bleeding. Rodney's eyes were wide open and glazed, moving back and forth as if trying to focus on something and John was almost sure he saw a spark of blue light cross over those unseeing eyes.

"Rodney?" John shook him gently. "Rodney?" Getting no answer, he picked up his dislodged earpiece and put an emergency call out, and as the replies and questions that came in fell almost silently on his damaged ear, a hand grabbed his blistered arm and he looked down to find Rodney staring at him, pain and fear clearly etched on his face.

"I'm...sorry..."

John grabbed the hand that gripped his arm so tightly and held it until Rodney's eyes slowly closed.

"Help's on it's way Buddy, hang in there." He whispered, terrified of the memories that passed through his mind; of being in a similar position just over two years ago. And although it was an entirely different situation, the similarities were more than enough for John to silently plead for help to come swiftly.

_TBC..._


	5. Chapter 5

_***PLEASE READ!***_  
_**Realizing an error with chapter 5, and following some constructive criticism, I have rewritten this chapter. There are now parts to it that were meant to have been covered in a later chapter, which are now covered in this one. PLEASE reread it if you have already read it, I apologize for this but it does need reread due to the new content! Gebtkd, I will always complete a story, don't you worry, and thank you ;)**_

* * *

When the flurry of emergency had finally died down, John finally took the time to sit down and try to rest. By the time Rodney had been removed from the machine, brought to sick bay and John debriefed on what had happened, the day had passed into late afternoon. The noise in the infirmary stirred memories of his last stay in the place and his arm twitched as if it also remembered the long painful weeks he spent lying on starched white sheets as his body healed.

When Carson was sure that Rodney was stable and comfortable, he set about checking John over for the second time. The electric shock he received had left his body aching and perhaps a little more height to his hair, but Carson had assured him that he had suffered minimal effects that would pass by the morrow. Carson had cleansed and dressed the wounds on John's hands and arms, and now they itched like mad beneath the dressings, but he refused to complain as he sat in the chair by Rodney's bedside. When the doctor left him to attend to something else, John was left alone for the first time that day, listening to the noise of the machines that surrounded Rodney's bed. The constant beeping began to grate on his already frayed nerves so he took out the tiny MP3 player that he carried around in his shirt pocket, wishing to block out the sounds that played upon his mind with the more soothing sounds of his favorite music. As the sound of Johnny Cash calmed his mind, he relaxed back into the large visitors chair and rested his feet on the wheels of Rodney's bed. His eyes flickered from the sleeping scientist to the machines and back, constantly looking for a sign that he might wake up.

He used almost every moment in his vigil to analyze what had happened earlier, finding fault with himself at every turn. He questioned every little remark and action of his own that could have led them to this moment and found that he not only blamed himself for not stopping Rodney but also came to the conclusion that he might have forced him towards it. He thought at times he had been too soft on Rodney, at other times, too hard. He wished that he had toned down mission stories so that they didn't sound quite as exciting to Rodney than they might have done. He also wondered if perhaps his bright idea for Arennar day might possibly have been just another way for Rodney to feel less adequate and compounded his already low self esteem.

As the machines continued their monitoring of Rodney, John could not help but wonder how Ronon and Teyla would react to to what had happened, Ronon especially. If there was anything that John regretted equally as much as the crash, it was the break up of his friendship with Ronon. Since the time that the Satedan had joined his team, they had become strong friends and each others family, as it was with all of the team. The breakdown of their friendship had come from a moments thoughtlessness, a few angry words that John would forever wish he had never uttered. Already burdened with self reproach, he could not help but think back to the moment when Ronon and he had broken apart. It was only another chapter in the bigger story, another huge mistake he regretted and his current mood made sure he dredged up that old guilt too. He turned up the sound on his MP3 player, closed his eyes and remembered the entire thing as if it had happened yesterday.

_In the weeks following the crash, John had fought his own demons as he watched Rodney get used to being mute and chair bound. While no one really blamed him for what happened, John blamed himself and that combined with watching Rodney's daily struggle to adapt, was enough to pull him into a melancholia that was made worse by his own healing injuries at the time. His mood had spiraled until he barely recognised himself. He lacked confidence, lacked drive, he became a shadow of his former confident self. He went through his prescribed physiotherapy with little will to push himself but he did, if only for the fact that he knew Rodney had it so much worse than himself. _

_Ronon had watched as John fell deeper every day into a depressive state, he himself hurting to see his friend so changed by what had happened. Determined to bring John back from whatever hell he was enduring, Ronon, amongst other things, decided to set up a night out on Muo. Ronon, Lorne and John, met with Bann at their favorite tavern on Muo main street, and with the exception of Lorne, they had set to drinking the thick strong local ale. While Ronon's intentions had been in the right place, he only realised his lack of judgement when John began to act as if he had never drank alcohol before in his life. Too late Ronon had realised that perhaps alcohol was not the answer, especially when he had neglected to tell John where they were going and so the man had unknowingly taken his pain killers before hand. The combination of alcohol, strong pain killers and a depressive state of mind quickly saw the colonel drunk to almost oblivion, and by the time they headed back to the Jumper to go home, Bann was more or less holding John in an upright position, his large furry hands practically lifting him all the way back to the landing bay. _

"_Ahhh meetur John be you too greedy on Alfashan Ale my friend good! Might have I to carry you all the way! It is right I think that you not be flying tonight yourself!"_

_Bann waved as the Jumper bay hatch closed and the Lorne raised the PuddleJumper to fly them back to Atlantis. John was always a happy drunk, chilled and relaxed and amusing to be with. But that night he was decidedly edgy and paranoid; everything that anyone said was taken as some kind of snide remark against him. _

"_I never took you as a lightweight, sir." Lorne's offhand comment started the ball rolling on what was to be the second biggest mistake John had ever made._

"_Exactly what does that mean?"_

"_You know, when it comes to booze."_

"_I'll have you know that I'd be perfectly able to fly us home, given the chance. Lightweight..." He rolled his eyes which made him dizzy and nauseous. _

"_Pretty sure you'd crash if we let you." Ronon said with a smirk on his face, also amused at how very drunk John was._

"_Oh yeah? What exactly are you trying to say there, big guy?"_

"_Just saying, you're drunk, you'd crash."_

_But John didn't see the humour in either mans eyes nor hear it in their voices, and took the remarks as jibes against his recent crash._

"_I've never crashed, never! Blown out of the sky maybe, but never crashed."_

"_I never said you've crashed."_

"_Did...did he not just say that?" John said, spreading his arms out as if welcoming any back up he might get from Lorne, looking at Ronon who stared at him with amusement on his face. "I never crashed!"_

"_McKay might say otherwise."_

"_Oh yeah? What might he say then?" John asked, his anger rising._

"_That you crashed." Ronon's intended joke never reached John's mind, as all he heard was Ronon blaming him for what happened and McKay's predicament._

"_You think you could've done better? You could have stopped it?"_

"_I'm not saying anything, Sheppard."_

"_You are, you think you could have done better and it was all my fault. Yeah?" Ronon grunted and ignored him, which in the circumstances might not have been the best idea. "Oh yeah, I forgot, Muscles here can fight a wraith bare handed, likes nothing more than to bash their ugly heads together, right? Hell, I bet you'd've climbed out the Jumper just to take him on and save the day!" Shaking his head, Ronon sat back in his seat, aware that there was nothing that he could say that would placate John. "Mr Perfect, eh?"_

"_Never said I was perfect."_

"_No but clearly you think I could've done something different."_

"_I'm not saying that."_

"_Then what are you saying?"_

"_I'm saying that you're drunk."_

"_No no, you're saying something else, that I wasn't good enough. That it's all my fault that my ship was blown to bits and Rodney's in a wheelchair, yeah?" His words were becoming increasingly slurred as he swayed side to side in his seat._

"_Get some sleep Sheppard."_

"_No, this is good, this is good! We should talk about this! It's my fault that Rodney can't speak or walk, yeah? And you'd've gotten everyone safely home, right? Well I guess Melena might say otherwise to that."_

_An uneasy silence fell in the cabin, not that John noticed, and Lorne tensed in the pilot seat as John watched Ronon for his reaction._

"_Melena has nothing to do with this." Ronon said through gritted teeth._

"_Hasn't she? So, your...apparent...shortfall can be excused, but mine can't be forgiven?"_

"_Lets just take it easy now..." Lorne called over his shoulder, knowing that should Ronon react the way he thought he might, there would be a fight in the cockpit. _

_Ronon pulled himself forward in his seat, closer to John. "Never, ever, speak her name again." He growled, his face taut with anger, his body rigid with every bit of control he could muster not to hit John for his remark._

_Something in John's mind clicked and suddenly he saw a little glint of reality through the drunken fog that clouded his mind. He had no idea why Melena had even come to his mind and silently cursed himself for daring to say such a thing, especially to Ronon who he knew would have given his life to save that of his betrothed. He could see in that moment of clarity that he had just ruined their friendship and as Ronon attempted to hide his raw mental anguish, John realised that there was very little that he could ever say to heal the psychological wound he had just inflicted._

"_M'sorry...no idea why I said that..."_

_Ronon just stared at him for long moments, obviously deliberating whether to beat him or shout at him, but in the end did something more terrifying; he spoke in such a quiet broken voice, that the words were driven home more effectively than if he had raised his hands._

"_I do blame you for what happened to McKay as it sure as hell wasn't his fault. It wasn't my fault that Melena died but I'll never forgive myself for not getting her to leave sooner, so I carry on in her name. But you're wallowing in self pity while McKay struggles on and you dare bring up my ability to take care of the ones I love? You make me sick."_

_Somewhere in his drunken mind John was aware that the words Ronon spoke were in retaliation for his earlier remark, that it wasn't really what Ronon truly believed, but with those final four words, he saw their friendship irreparably destroyed._

Looking back, it was such a stupid thing to ever have entered into his head. It had taken Ronon a long time to tell him about Melena, to open up even a tiny bit to John about his loss and longing for the woman he had loved so dearly. John had thrown that back in his face with a single liquor fueled statement and Ronon had never forgiven him for it. In fact, because he had been hurt by the one person he trusted the most, Ronon made himself believe his own statement; that John was responsible for Rodney's pain. John regretted it terribly, he had lost one of his closest friends. But it was the catalyst that had broken his depressive state, and even in a way had given him the idea for Arennar day. Knowing that Ronon had become very protective of Rodney after his first venture with the Ascension machine, how he was going to react to what happened this morning was anyone's guess. But John knew one thing was for sure; no matter the outcome, Ronon would blame him.

"Are you still beating yerself up?" The voice of the Scottish doctor invaded his thoughts as his earphones were pulled from his ears.

"What makes you think I'll ever stop?" John asked as he righted himself in the chair, taking the earphones from the doctors hands.

Carson sighed and began his half hourly check on Rodney, marking his findings on the chart at the foot of the bed.

"You have to know that this of all things was not your fault John."

"Wasn't it?"

Carson pulled a seat over from the side of the bed and sat next to him and looked at Rodney.

"He has never gotten over the fact that he couldn't prove me wrong." Carson said with a sad smile. "I wish that he had."

"Yeah."

Carson looked at John with a medical eye. "You need to get some sleep, son."

"I'm fine, Doc." John replied with enough irritation to fend off Carson without insulting him, for a while at least. "How's he doing?"

"Scans show nothing of note, bloods came back fine, none of the same markers of his last encounter with the ascension machine. We will keep an eye on him, but I have to hope that his tampering stopped any of the more harmful side effects of that bloody contraption."

The monitors beeped on and despite his protestations, John could feel his head drooping before Carson laid a blanket over him.

"Get some sleep son, hopefully he'll be awake come morning."

But he had heard Carson say similar words in the past and the fact that Rodney didn't wake up for weeks then, didn't inspire much confidence in John now. The words took him back to that time and dredged up the intense feelings of guilt that he had felt upon wakening after the crash to find Rodney in a coma. His inability to bring down a wraith dart without destroying his own ship in the process had brought them to this very moment, and there wasn't anything that anyone could say that would stop him punishing himself for it. His thoughts were suddenly scattered when the sound of screaming startled him back to reality. He was on his feet and at Rodney's side in seconds, shouting for help from the medical team as the horrible screaming continued.

Rodney's eyes were closed and tears poured from them, trickling down into his hair. His hands clenched into fists so tight that his knuckles were white from the strain and the bed creaked as Rodney's body bucked and contorted. Carson hurried over from across the room, trying in vain to calm Rodney down with gentle words that never even reached his ears.

"MY LEGS!" He screamed, his eyes opening as his face twisted in agony. "Help me! My LEGS!"

John held him gently but firmly by the shoulders to stop him from coming out of the bed, as Carson injected medicines into the line connected to Rodney's arm, then walked to the bottom of the bed where he raised the covers slightly to have a look at his legs.

"Oh dear God." Carson muttered quietly, a look of shock on his face, his mouth agape.

As he pulled the covers back further, John saw and recoiled in horror from the sight that had Carson so transfixed. Rodney's thin and withered legs were changing before them, the skin rippling grotesquely by movement beneath. A grey metallic substance dripped from his skin to pool and solidify on the sheets of the bed. Cracking noises filled the air as the badly healed splintered bones were pulled apart only to be reknit and they rebuilt themselves in an excruciating slowness that left Rodney suffering torture that John could not even begin to imagine. Rodney writhed and shrieked, almost falling from the bed which prompted John to take hold of his shoulders again. Tearing his eyes away from the morphing legs he looked at Rodney's tear streaked face, his eyes begging John to help him but he had no idea how to, all he could do was hold his friend and hope that whatever was happening would end soon. Eventually Rodney's screams became whimpers and pained moans as the movement and noises from beneath his skin slowed to a stop. His back remained arched off the bed in one long spasm before he took a long deep breath and sagged back onto the bed and its sweat soaked linen. Silence filled the room and everyone stared at Rodney who had closed his eyes and became limp, clearly unconscious. Walking a few unsteady paces back the bed, John pulled fretfully at his messy hair, confused at what he had witnessed.

"What the hell just happened?" He asked no one in particular and his words seemed to jolt everyone around him back into action.

Carson began shouting orders before asking John to move back into the other bay, then pulled the curtains around Rodney's bed. Medical personnel hurried to and from the curtained bay with equipment and medical supplies as John sat on the edge of a chair, leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and bit worriedly at his lip. His mind replayed images of Rodney's legs changing and as he remembered the sickening noises that accompanied the sight, nausea bringing bile to the back of his throat. Sitting further back in the chair he closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead, feeling the beginning of a headache behind his eyes. By the time the curtains were drawn back, John had fallen into a light snooze, oblivious to all until his leg cramped and woke him. He looked around disorientated, until until his eyes settled on Rodney's ashen face.

"What have you done." He whispered, watching his friend's slow steady breathing.

"I'll tell you what he's done." The voice made him jump, turning quickly to see Carson walking to the foot of Rodney's bed and lifting the chart hanging on the end. "He has ruined all the hard work I did to put his legs back together again.

"What d'you mean?"

"Remember that metallic liquid that seemed to be oozing from his skin? Well, that was the pins I used to keep his bones together. It's as if his body rejected them and forced them through his pores." Carson said as he scribbled some notes on the chart.

John felt too numb to speak and he watched Rodney's eyes dancing behind his closed eyelids. He wondered if the man had even attempted to prepare himself for his experiment going wrong, but knew that Rodney rarely considered failure as an outcome.

"But then, he always did go out of his way to prove me wrong, and this time is no exception." He said, hanging the chart back on the bed.

"In what way?" John asked but before he could get a reply, Mr Woolsey announced his arrival with a clearing of his throat.

"Yes Doctor Beckett, what was it that just had to have my attention right away, dragging me from my very late lunch?"

"Ah, now if you would both follow me, I've got something to show you."

John and Woolsey followed Carson to his office, where he placed two separate scan films up for them to see. Woolsey regarded the two scans, his brows knitting together in confusion.

"Aren't these scans the wrong way round Doctor Beckett, or are you trying to tell me that Doctor McKay's madcap idea actually worked?"

"That's exactly what I'm telling you. See this one, this is the scan I took after I attempted to fix his shattered legs." He pointed to the film which showed Rodney's poor twisted legs, badly healed and calloused bones, filled with more metal pins than bone and very little muscle mass due to lack of use. "And this, I took after his little adventure this morning."

Anyone would believe the second scan to be of an entirely different pair of legs. They were in perfect condition, not one fracture line, metal pin or scarred bone. When compared to his early scans, it appeared that his legs were the same if not better than they had been before the crash.

"How...? That's just not possible." John said when he finally found his voice.

"Well going by this," his hands indicating the new scan result, "It most certainly is possible. Rodney not only proved me wrong, but he healed his legs entirely." There was wonder in his voice, wonder and just a hint of hurt. Although Carson had did his very best to get Rodney back on his feet, there just wasn't anything medically advanced enough to have helped him, and he never got over the fact that he failed his friend.

"Huh." Woolsey continued to stare at the scans. "And do you believe that he will be able to walk after this?"

"Well that remains to be seen, I'm not even sure he will even wake up, there's no telling what an event like this might have done to him. If just one tiny drop of that liquid metal got into his bloodstream and made it to his brain...well, until he wakens I won't even be a hundred percent sure if the machine itself has in any way affected his mind. The stress and pain that this would have caused, it would be a wonder if Rodney came out of this mentally unscathed."

"Why would this happen now and not when the machine was activated on him?"

"Well, I am no expert on ancient or Goaul'd technology, but I believe..."

John excused himself and left them to continue their conversation as his headache worsened. Throwing himself into the chair next to Rodney's bed, he looked him over and sighed.

"You did it Rodney. Son of a bitch you did it." He whispered in awe, even though he still had that niggling worry scratching at the back of his mind, fear at what the machine might also have done to him.

His headache was becoming increasingly painful, not helped by the lighting in the infirmary, and since Carson had more or less given him the all clear, he decided to rest in the comfortable darkness of his own room. He stood to leave when two worried looking people entered the infirmary, halting his plan in its tracks. They had just returned from escorting the mayor back to Taui back home and Chuck had apparently informed Ronon and Teyla of Rodney having been taken to the infirmary, but as he had been unable to clarify why, it fell to Jon to explain the reason why their close friend lay unconscious in an infirmary bed. He sat back down and told them everything that had happened in the morning after they had left for Taui, watching as Teyla's eyes filled with tears and Ronon's face clouded over with anger.

"What he must have went through." Teyla said, as she stroked Rodney's still arm, the way in which her breath hitched on her words, setting an ache in John's chest. "And what of his mind? Will he wake up?"

John lowered his head, unable to look either of them in the eye as he explained to them what Carson had said, aware of Ronon's intense gaze upon him. "It's all my fault." He finished sadly, speaking the words that were echoing continually through his head.

"This is not your fault John." Teyla said, her eyes at once scolding as they were pained for him. Scolding him for blaming himself for what by all accounts had been an accident. Her words didn't make him feel any better, but he nodded his head anyway, knowing deep down that she was right.

"Why didn't you stop him?" Ronon's deep voice cut through the air, his face creased in anger, his eyes staring hard at John who had been expecting such a question.

"Ronon!" Teyla admonished.

"We all know what happened the last time, how could he let him do it again?" The blow from the Satedan's words was almost like a physical punch to the face and John found that he could not look Ronon in the eyes.

"I tried." he said, his fingers trailing absentmindedly over the bandages which covered the burns and blisters on his arms.

"Oh John..." Teyla said as she noticed his bandaged arms for the first time.

"Not hard enough." Ronon snapped, fury emanating from him.

"Ronon!" Teyla raised her voice, staring furiously at the large man. "It will not do Rodney or ourselves any good to be arguing. Can't you see that John is also injured?"

"Yeah, well I'm just saying. He was there, he should have dragged him out as soon as he found him."

Rodney slept on, oblivious to what was going on around him and John envied him for his ignorance. Ronon had just reminded him of how close he came to actually losing Rodney, again. Maybe he just wasn't that good a friend, he always seemed to put his friends in danger. How many times was he going to jeopardize his teammates lives before he really did lose them?

Turning from the bed, he made his way towards the door, feeling as if their eyes were boring holes into the back of his head.

"John, where are you going?" Teyla asked. He could hear the strain in her voice, knew that she was angry with Ronon, but he didn't care. He had to get out of there.

"Bed." he muttered and left.

_TBC... Feed my soul cookie comments please!_


	6. Chapter 6

_** I've not really been around due to bereavement, but chapter six is written now and here it is :)**_

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Chapter 6

_The light blinded him and the pain that filled his entire being was excruciating. Blue fire burned him alive and he imagined his blood boiling in his veins. Through the flames, he could see John Sheppard trying to pull him from the fire unsuccessfully and he thrashed in agony on the platform beneath the accursed machine which had activated by accident. A low thrumming sound was ever present in his mind, a deep humming that rose and fell in intensity that sometimes shook his body and made it feel as if his head would explode until he passed out into blissful nothingness. _

_He was dragged back from this peace into a reality that was filled with nothing but agony. His entire being was wracked with pain and fire seemed to burn intensely in his lower limbs which he clawed at as he screamed. His body trembled, his teeth rattled in his head and the muscles in his jaw clenched and unclenched involuntarily. His legs were on fire but not only that, they felt as if they were being ripped apart and torn from his body leaving behind nothing but unending torturous agony. When the pain became too much, making him crave for nothing but death, that was when the whispering started. At first, it was a low shushing sound that he thought was the blood pumping through his veins sounding in his ears, but the sound increased until he was sure it was someone whispering words that were alien to him. Filled with strange clicks and noises that made no sense, there were also clear words of some language he did not understand. The pain reached such levels that his eyes had snapped open and he saw John staring down at him with terrified eyes and he wondered if it was his voice that he could hear. But John's mouth was not moving, it was open in astonished horror as he watched whatever was happening, and Rodney was terrified at what it was that could place a look like that on John Sheppard's face. Then the agony began to subside as the whispering faded away, and he fell back on the bed in relief into a welcoming blackness in which he suffered no more. _

It was the noise of someone coughing that finally woke him and he stared up at the unfamiliar ceiling above him. Momentarily puzzled, it took him a moment to realise that he was not in his own room but in the infirmary and then he remembered everything. He could feel the aftermath of whatever had happened to him; it felt as if every part of him had been put through a ringer then tossed into an industrial compactor. Nearby whispering unnerved him until he realised it was coming from the other side of the room and he turned his head to see Carson conversing with a nurse at his office door.

Trying to turn onto his side, Rodney grimaced as his stiff muscles protested against the movement and as the last remnants of sleep left him, his brain registered the fact that his legs felt very different. They felt bigger, fuller but most importantly, the raw gnawing pain that had been his constant companion these last two years, was gone. For a few moments he lay there, wondering if his tired brain was tricking him and waited on the inevitable return of the pain, but it never came. Pulling on the bed sides, he sat up and threw the covers back to stare at his legs, finding them more or less identical to the ones he used to possess, prior to the crash. Strong healthy legs that he had not seen in so long that he had forgotten what they looked like. Gone were the scars that criss crossed his skin, gone was the ever present swelling of scar tissue beneath the deepest scar at the bottom of his left leg. But the thing that hit him the hardest was the fact that he felt no pain, not even a twinge. He flexed his feet and wriggled his toes, wiping his eyes free from the tears of joy that suddenly blinded him. He bent one knee, then the other, pulling them up to almost under his chin and he grinned with excitement as his legs did what he asked of them.

As he went to pull himself to the end of the bed, he noticed the beeping from the monitors, and the wires connected to his skin with sticky pads. He wanted this moment to be his, no one else's and he wasn't about to let a stupid alarm draw any attention to him, so he leaned over and switched the machines off as he tugged the wires and pads from his skin. Quietly pulling himself to the end of the bed where the safety rail stopped, he squeezed himself out to sit at the very edge. Letting his legs swing back and forth, he reveled in the fact he could do so without any hint of the agony he used to experience. Slipping off the edge of the bed so that his feet lightly touched the cold floor, his face lit up in delight at the sensation and the fact that the intense stabbing pain that normally accompanied standing, was no longer there. He could hardly contain himself as he pushed off the bed to stand on his own two feet, only standing there for a few seconds before he decided that he should try to walk. Lifting one foot a few inches off the floor, he made to step forward and stumbled at the strangeness of all the sensations that suddenly washed over him, sensations that he had longed to experience and had almost forgotten. Gripping the bed rail, he righted himself while chuckling, seeing himself almost like a child taking its first steps. His second attempt was a little better, as he managed to clear the bed and stagger a few steps into the ward, his legs a little wobbly and stiff. Walking slowly and now steadily, he gained confidence in his steps and soon he passed Carson and the nurse who both did a double take in astonishment.

"Rodney?" The wide eyed doctor said.

"Carson." he replied and continued walking, well aware that the doctor was staring after him. He counted down from five to see how long it took for Carson to shake off the shock and catch up with him, managing to get to three before he felt the hand fall upon his shoulder and the Scottish voice sound next to him.

"Eh, where d'you think you're going? I haven't cleared you to get out of bed yet let alone the infirmary."

Rodney turned his head and beamed at him, taking simple pleasure in the fact that Carson had not tried to stop him but rather fell in step and walked beside him.

"I'm just going for a walk around the ward." Indeed, he was already heading back towards his bed.

He jumped lightly up onto the bed and lay down, sighing contentedly as Carson worried over him like a mother hen.

"Do you have any pain? Any strange sensations? Anything out of the ordinary? This whole bloody thing is out of the ordinary, but you get what I mean."

"Carson, relax. I'm perfectly fine."

"I'll be the judge of that, you stay there until I come back, d'you hear me?"

As Carson left to gather up things to test him with, Rodney laid back in the bed and sighed happily. Accident or not, the machine had worked just as he had thought it would and he could not be happier. So when the low peculiar whispering began to sound in his ears, he tried to ignore it. Perhaps, he thought, the rise in his blood pressure due to being on his feet for the first time in a long time, was what was causing the odd noise, and he was determined that nothing was going to spoil this moment for him.

Within the day he hoped to be discharged, and he pushed towards that goal with all the determination and stubbornness that he could muster. Come late morning, having only suffered an hour of unneeded physio, the physiotherapist conceded that there was nothing that she could do for him now. Carson of course took longer to convince and after a battery of tests, he too had to concede that there was no reason for Rodney to stay within the confines of the infirmary. With strict instructions to return to infirmary should anything untoward crop up, Rodney was discharged in the early afternoon.

His mood was lifted to the point that nothing seemed to faze him, not even the curious and shocked looks of the people that he passed on the way to the mess hall. He was starving and craved something more substantial than the paltry hospital sized portions that Carson and his team tried to feed him. He also knew that John and the others had returned from being offworld since early morning, and he bet that the trio were currently having lunch. He could not wait to see the looks on their faces when he walked in. He was a little surprised to see John sitting alone at the far corner of the mess hall, with no sign of either Teyla or Ronon to be seen. He stood for a moment and watched John, hoping that he would look up and see him standing there. But John stared at his food while playing with it, looking completely disinterested in the meal before him. Feeling that he could cheer him up, Rodney shrugged, pushed out his chest and sauntered across the mess hall towards John's table. He threw himself in the chair across the table from his shaggy haired friend then put a hand to John's rapidly cooling food and stole a chip. John looked up slowly, barely registering Rodney before his gaze returned to his food tray. But then he did the same comedic double take that Carson and the nurse had done earlier, his eyes widening while his eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Rodney?!" He said incredulously, throwing his fork onto his plate.

"The one and only." Rodney replied with a smug grin on his face.

"But, when? How?"

Rodney laughed. "About fifteen minutes ago and under my own, steam I might add." he said, slapping his leg.

John grinned and pushed his unfinished lunch away from him then leaned his elbows on the table.

"So you really did do it."

"Of course, and quite frankly I am amazed that you still lack the confidence in my genius after all this time."

"But...you're okay!"

"Of course I'm okay, what? You thought perhaps I would grow another head or something?!"

"No, no. We weren't sure you'd...be yourself if you woke up."

"Well rest assured that I am indeed myself, no harm done, all intact." He said, tapping his head. "Where are the others?" He was puzzled to see a look of guilt cross John's face and the grin on his face fixed there momentarily frozen without any real genuine warmth behind it.

"Teyla has gone to spend some time with Torren. Ronon..he ah...finished lunch earlier and I'm not sure where he is." John muttered as he pulled at the bandage on his arm.

"What happened to your arms?"

"Trying to pull you from that damned machine is what happened to them. Burnt by the flames"

Rodney was confused. "How come you got burned, and I didn't?" He asked, mostly to himself.

"No idea."

"I'm sorry, that was my fault." Rodney was not used to this moody side of John, couldn't quite figure out what was wrong.

"It was an accident Rodney, not your fault."

John continued to pick at the bandages, quiet and sullen and Rodney lifted another couple of chips from the abandoned plate and stood up.

"Hey, what say you join me in burying an old enemy at sea?"

John stared at him perplexed but got up and followed Rodney out of the mess hall regardless. Rodney's wheelchair sat just outside the door and he began pushing it, motioning John to follow him. They made their way to the West pier, taking the chair on its last journey. When they stepped out onto the pier, they were met by the fresh air and the smell of the salty sea.

"Give me a hand." He said as he crouched beside the wheelchair and took hold of it. John followed suite and they both hurled the chair cleanly over the edge of the pier and watched in silence as it splashed into the water and quickly sank. It left only some ripples to show that it had ever been there, disappearing amongst some bubbles, then it disappeared forever.

"So?" John asked, still watching the sea.

"You have no idea how good that felt." Rodney replied, feeling as though the chair had pulled all the pain and anguish he had felt since the accident to the murky bottom of the sea with it.

"So what now?"

"Well, I was wondering if there was a vacancy on the team for me."

"I'm pretty sure there will be. Radek never really enjoyed the off world life like you did. Forever moaning about his precious research experiments and his inability to work on them."

Rodney chuckled, he could just imagine the small Czech, bored to tears on long space journeys, wishing that he was back on Atlantis enjoying the life that Rodney once had, long before he fell in love with exploring the Pegasus galaxy.

Leaning down, he sat himself on the pier, swinging his legs over the edge like he had done so long ago when they had enjoyed a beer on this very pier. John got down and sat beside him, looking out over the sea as a cool breeze tugged at his hair. They sat in silence, each lost in his own thoughts for a while, both trying to work out exactly what to say to the other.

"I never blamed you for any of what happened you know." Rodney said after a while. "I know you have always blamed yourself, but I never did. I want you to know that."

John turned to look at him, his piercing green eyes filled with pain. It was clear that John had things he wanted to say but was unable to. Rodney turned away, unable to gaze upon those haunted eyes any longer, knowing that John was hurting more than he had ever known him to, fully aware that he was partly to blame for that pain. He wasn't stupid, despite everyone's attempts to shield him from the truth, Rodney knew what had happened to John in those first couple of months. He had seen the change in him himself, knew that the guilt of what had happened weighed so heavily on John's shoulders it was bound to have left a mark. He had felt so very powerless to help him, hell, he could hardly even help himself those first few months, so he had decided to toughen himself up and show everyone that he was just as capable living mute in a wheelchair, hoping that his strength might perhaps help John to forgive himself. But it was evident from the look in John's eyes that he had not forgiven himself, indeed, today he seemed even more withdrawn than normal and Rodney was sure it was because of what had happened yesterday morning.

"If anything, I'm thankful for everything you've done or tried to do for me. There were days that I wished only to disappear, days in which I...I wished I had died in the crash, but you kept me going."

"Rodney..." John sighed, his head lowered, looking at his fingers which picked at his nails or pulled at his bandages.

"John, I'm only here today because of everything that you did for me."

The sea's endless motion seemed to mirror their own inner turbulence, the ever changing extremes of emotions that had been part of them both for so very long that it was hard to talk about them without being hit by the wave of another surfacing feeling. The sound of waves lapping at the edge of the city seemed to sooth John and he raised his head to look out over the water as if seeking the words to say in the eternal movement of the water.

"I've never been able to say sorry. Never had the courage to look you in the eye and admit that I'd failed you." John finally said, shaking his head and refusing to look at Rodney. "God knows there hasn't been a day when I didn't wish it was me in that chair and not you." He turned to Rodney and smiled self consciously, only to turn away again, still unable to look him in the eye.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. You did your best that day and there was nothing you could do to stop that inevitable outcome. I doubt even Manfred Von Richthofen could have pulled off what you _did_ managed that day."

"Seriously? You are seriously gonna liken me to the Red Baron?"

"Well, he was a _seriously_ good pilot, one of the very best I understand. So yes, I am likening you to him, as you are the best pilot I know." Rodney saw the twitch of a smile that pulled at John's mouth. "You really are a good friend, John. Thanks for being there for me."

"Like I said before, you're stuck with me Rodney, I said I wasn't going anywhere and I meant it."

Rodney shivered as the air cooled and a chill breeze blew over the pier. "Well I hate to break it to you but I _am_ going somewhere," Rodney said through chattering teeth, "Indoors! Its freezing!"

They made their way back inside, both feeling lighter than they had done in many months, happier in mind and spirit. Laughing and joking the way they used to as they walked, for those short minutes, it was as if nothing had ever changed and the last two years were nothing but a bad dream. John relaxed considerably, his trademark cocky grin even surfaced as he sauntered ahead of Rodney. But as they passed through a set of automatic doors, Rodney experienced what felt like a scratching, tingling sensation at the base of his skull. He was glad his friend was facing away from him as he stumbled slightly in surprise when the strange alien whispers seemed to sound from the doors as they closed. He pushed it from his mind and caught up with John, unnerved and slightly fearful that perhaps he wasn't quite as fine as he had been feeling. The tingling sensation grew and he felt that perhaps it was simply the shivers from the cold he was feeling, or at least that is what he told himself as they made their way back towards the centre of the city. John stopped halfway up the corridor, his hand pressed to his ear as he listened to whatever was being said over the earpiece.

"They're looking for you."

"Who?"

"Teyla and Ronon."

Rodney didn't miss the tightening of John's jaw or the weariness that suddenly invaded his eyes. He had his suspicions as to why Ronon and John had fallen out, but he didn't know for sure. But thoughts of why disappeared when his eyes blurred and he felt a pain behind them as the whispering from before grew louder in his mind and he was suddenly scared. His body swayed a little as he was overcome with sudden dizziness, glad when he felt the pressure of John's hand on his shoulder to steady him.

"Hey, you ok? You're chalk white!"

"I think I've just overdone it, I'm suddenly very tired." He replied trying to hide his fear from John. "You know, first time walking in two years and all that."

"C'mon, let's get you to Carson." John made to guide him but Rodney gently pushed him away for fear that John might see through his lie.

"I don't need Carson, I'm okay. I just need a little lie down." He said, fixing a tired grin on his face as he began walking again, hoping to convince John that what was happening was perfectly normal and that he wasn't scared shitless of about it.

"Alright, let's get you to your room then. I'll say to Teyla and Ronon that you've went for a lie down and you'll see them later."

As they continued to make their way to Rodney's room, he was thankful that the dizziness subsided. He was grateful that John, as usual, didn't make him feel in any way incapacitated and they chatted away until they reached Rodney's quarters.

John had given him one last worried glance before he left, promising to check in on him in a couple of hours. Rodney threw himself onto his bed and curled up into a tight ball beneath his duvet. Never before had he been so relieved to be alone and in his own bed, and never before had he ever felt so incredibly scared. He shook and shivered as the strange sensation increased like an irritating itch that he could not scratch. Normally he would have worried about it all night, would have wondered if had a brain tumor or something else just as devastating as his famed hypochondria let his imagination run away from him. He might even have gone as far as to seek out Carson and demand a brain scan, made a scene of such convincing dramatics that Carson would shake his head while rolling his eyes then yield and give him the scan. But the fact was that he very quickly fell into a very deep sleep where he dreamed of a land where blue flames burst through ground on which walked strange creatures that whispered in the darkness. Eventually even the dreams stopped, and despite John keeping his promise and checking on him, he slept through in dreamless darkness until the following morning.

_TBC._..


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you for all the comments! Every comment makes me feel all happy and feeds my dragony soul ;) Last chapter before the holidays and I hope you like it! Been a really busy few weeks and I've not been able to spend the time I would like on my writing. Hopefully I will have more time after the holidays now that commissions are all finished :) Hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and a happy New Year :D  
But what is happening to Rodney?! Ooooh you will have to keep reading to find out ;)  
**

* * *

The day had begun like any other; an early rise and breakfast before suiting up, followed by a briefing of the days mission in the conference room. Rodney, of course, decided to skip breakfast and stock his back pack with sugary energy bars instead, not wanting to be late for his first mission back on the team. Of course he arrived late to the meeting, not the best of starts, he thought. When the meeting was over, no one was particularly enthused about going on the mission, one reason being that their Genii "friends" had given them the intel. No matter how much information or help the Genii gave, John would never trust a thing about them, and given what he had been through at the hands of the Genii, no one blamed him for thinking that way. They were heading to a planet known as Gulyna, a young planet, apparently rich in many foods and ores that would replenish the low stores on Atlantis. There were also reportedly special medicinal herbs that Carson and his team had taken a particular interest in. Despite John's reservations; he didn't trust them a damn, it all sounded too good not to have a look at.  
Apparently the home of a somewhat primitive culture, the population that had developed, lived on a single continent of the planet; the one on which the Stargate was located. They had been told that the settlement itself was some distance from the gate, so it was decided that they would take a PuddleJumper, set down just outside the settlement area and make the final leg of the journey on foot. The plan was basically to walk to town, meet the locals, form some kind of trade agreement and head home. It all sounded straight forward enough, a mission like many they had carried out many times before elsewhere, but when they reached Gulyna later that morning, it didn't at all go to plan.

First annoyance was the high winds that tunneled down the valley, creating a turbulent flight that pushed John to keep the craft in a straight line. Then, once in sight of the chosen landing area, the Jumper dropped suddenly and clipped some kind of small landmark that turned out to be the first in a mile long line of idols that would lead through the forest straight to the heart of the settlement. John set the Jumper down some yards away from the toppled statue and once they disembarked, they made their way towards it with the intent to right it again, no harm no foul. As they neared, it became obvious that it had wraith like qualities to its features and they figured that perhaps the indigenous people had a strange fascination for the wraith, which at once put them all on edge. As John reached out to touch it, around twenty human natives ran from the cover of the surrounding trees, weapons held high while screaming tongue twisting obscenities towards the team. Teyla, ever the diplomat, advised John and Ronon to lower their newly raised weapons, as she was sure that the guns might provoke them into using their sharp spears on them and that the best chance at ending the confrontation peacefully, always stood on the grounds of a heart felt apology.

The apology worked somewhat, placating the angry people who lowered their weapons and thankfully ceased their ear splitting screeching once the idol was righted again. Flanked on all sides and following the line of small crude statues, they were led through the trees towards the settlement. There, the line of idols continued until they stopped at the doorway of what appeared to be a simple temple, where they were greeted by the shamanistic leader and his wife. He introduced himself as N'panyu Great High. What he was great or high at, they had no idea, but he certainly put on the airs and graces of a diplomat, while adorned in feathers, fur and roped beading with mud smeared over his body. Teyla again reiterated the apology, explaining that it had not been their intent to in any way affront their God, and that it had merely been an accident. N'Panyu accepted her apology and invited them all to join him in the temple with his wife, for a small meal before the negotiations began.  
It was clear that although their culture appeared to be primitive, they were by no means less intelligent than any other species or persons they had met. N'Panyu for all his appearance, was quite obviously a shrewd and intelligent man, asking questions that quite frankly surprised John as they made their way to the inner room of the crude temple.

"Your ship, it has the ability to thread the gates? It is almost like the small Wraneth ships, does that mean you also have bigger ships from where you launch?"

Wraneth wasn't a word John had ever heard before, but Teyla was quick to point out that it was an archaic title for the Wraith that had once been used in reverence before people understood what they really were. It was another thing to feel uneasy about and John was liking Gulyna less as the day went on and by the looks of it, Ronon even less so. They entered the room at the very heart of the temple, a round dark room with a dusty sand floor. Decorated minimally, there were sconces for meager lighting but only a few of them were lit, and huge thick red curtains covered most of the walls. Their seats were fat round cushions placed in a circle around a central fire pit that glowed warmly and kept the room at an uncomfortably warm temperature. N'panyu's wife lit another couple of sconces and brought the lighting up to a more tolerable level, allowing them to see a great deal more. For example, the strange carvings around the fire pit and the unsettling red smears on the wall not covered by the curtains became quite vividly obvious and more sinister with the flickering light.

Two men and one woman brought them platters of food, some more appetizing than others, and Rodney looked at it all with disgust. Once he was sure none of the others were being poisoned, he chanced a taste at what looked like a banana, only to find it tasted oddly like an orange, which put him off eating altogether. Two younger women brought in a large urn from which they poured a golden yellow liquid which tasted of vanilla and chocolate. Of course, as with any initial meeting, none of them took any large amount of food or drink, especially with them already feeling uneasy, but they ate enough as to not appear impolite. Before long, N'panyu had clapped his hands for the meal to be taken away, which it duly was by the attendants, some of whom licked their lips as they stared at the food they were carrying away, giving the impression that the feast was not something they saw every day. Everything seemed to be going well despite their initial misgivings, that was, until N'panyu asked for silence so that he could say an after meal prayer of thanks to their God. They sat in silence as he rose to his feet and began gesticulating in front of one of the heavy curtains, murmuring and whispering as his hands made shapes in the air. He then took hold of a piece of dark rope and pulled it, which hoisted the curtain upwards to reveal the God's statue behind it.

The statue almost seemed alive, almost too convincing in it's depiction of N'panyu's god. Tall and elegant, it was detailed and painted to the highest degree, from the long flowing hair to the perfectly fashioned feeding mouth embedded within the outstretched hand. The wraith queen looked out over the room with cold sightless eyes as if she was overseeing the meal in person. On sight of it, Ronon had quickly gotten to his feet, pulling his pistol from its holster as his eyes scoured the room for any signs of ambush or hostile confrontation, but in doing so, he himself created one. N'panyu stared at him in horror, for Ronon was standing when no one should, except himself as leader. John pulled at Ronon's long coat but the Satedan pulled it from his grasp then went to sit again when N'panyu made a loud screeching noise that brought guards running into the room. They were all on their feet before N'panyu could finish dropping the curtain, either to hide the statue or so that the queen might not look upon what was about to happen. Either way, once the curtain hit the floor N'panyu ran towards Ronon screaming loudly. Seeing the man, blinded by fury running towards him, Ronon simply raised his arm and prepared to take an impact. It was an effortless and effective move as N'panyu ran straight into his tight fist, his nose crunching on contact. With a squeal of pain, Nypanyu fell to the ground clutching at his shattered nose, triggering a loud awful screeching from his guards which alerted almost everyone in the vicinity that the visitors were no longer welcomed.

Taking it as their cue to leave, the team grabbed their things and ran, bursting out of the temple at top speed with the guards hot on their heels. They ran from the settlement for their lives as spears, bricks and pretty much everything else that the natives could lay their hands on were hurled at them with uncanny precision. By the time they were reaching the edge of the tree line near the Jumper, they were cut and bruised from the well aimed missiles but they were not out of trouble yet as when the Jumper came into sight, it was surrounded by a group of people who were currently either trying to lift the ship or break into it. It was not immediately clear which was the case as about half were hitting it with stones and such while the other half were attempting to push long wooden levers beneath it in order to carry it. Whatever they were trying to do, the team had to get the hell off this planet before anyone was seriously hurt, and Teyla warned Ronon, who had his pistol pointed at the locals, that shooting them all was not an option.

"So what are we going to do?! We can't just wait here like sitting ducks! First mission away and this is what happens? I knew I should have stayed on Atlantis." Rodney moaned, yet he was relishing being back on the team and experiencing the heady buzz of danger.

"Now I know you'd rather be here, Rodney." John drawled as he watched some of the natives through his gun sight. "We couldn't hold you back, remember?"

"Yes, well, perhaps if Mr Punch-first-ask-questions-later hadn't attacked their leader, we wouldn't be in this situation!" Rodney glared at Ronon, who shook his head and laughed quietly.

"I never punched him, he ran into my fist." Ronon replied with a grin.

"Well I think that we can rule out any trade negotiations with this lot, yeah?" John said as he took careful aim towards the rear of the Jumper.

His gunshot echoed in their ears, meaning to disperse the natives attacking the ship, but all it did was draw attention to their position as every one of them turned to look at them before raising their arms and pointing at the team while screeching loudly. It was like a scene from some awful horror movie but it alerted the others who had been quietly searching the woodland and then they too began screeching as they swiftly made their way towards the team.

"Cover me!" John said and he broke cover before anyone had a chance to speak.

Running into the oncoming mob, he fired off warning shots as he went, forcing the angry people back as he raced to the Jumper. A spear and a large stone bounced off the side of the Jumper as he activated the switch to open the hatch and he hunkered down just inside the hatch for cover as he laid down cover fire for the others.

Ronon's powerful particle magnum was set to stun, and he fired it relentlessly leaving people slumped on the ground as he moved forward. Teyla fired off warning bursts from her P90, clearing a path as the three made their way slowly back to the safety of the ship.

"Remind me again why we can't just shoot them!" Rodney said as he shot his handgun at the feet of an oncoming local.

"Just keep moving, we are nearly there!" Teyla called back.

John continued to lay down cover fire as the three got nearer to the ship, but the mob was growing as other people arrived from the settlement, all joining in the attempt to kill the team. He watched helplessly as Rodney and Teyla were grabbed at and pulled deeper into the crowd, then he saw Ronon's fury peak as he roared and fired his pistol indiscriminately at the would be captors. The crowd broke apart once half of them were stunned and allowed Teyla and Rodney to get back to their feet and make a run for the ship. John stood and urged them on, gun raised in case they were attacked on the way. So close now, a few more steps and they would be within the safety of the ship and able to get the hell off Gulyna. But as he watched them run towards him, he saw Ronon's head jerk, then his eyes rolled back in his head as he fell to the ground amidst a surge of locals. The others must have seen the shock on John's face as they immediately stopped and turned to see what he was looking at. John then sped past them, ordering them to stay with the ship and keep it defended. He ran towards the small crowd that had now grown around Ronon's fallen body and John roared angrily, firing his P90 directly at those who posed the biggest threat. Flesh wounds were nothing compared to what he would do if he lost Ronon to them. The crowd dispersed quickly when the people saw blood being shed, leaving John to help the fallen man. Ronon was groaning, a mat of bloodied hair on the back of his head from where a rock had hit and it was evident by the marks on his clothing that the crowd had also had a good try at kicking the life out of him. John helped him to roll over onto his back, as Teyla came forward to provide cover fire should it be necessary.

"It's me, I've got you." John said as a dazed and confused Ronon tried to push him away.

"Never doubted it." Ronon replied as his eyes focused on him then allowed John to help him to his feet.

John supported Ronon back to the ship as Teyla walked behind them with her gun raised. Once the three had made it into the ship, Rodney hit the switch to close the hatch. Teyla attended to Ronon as John jumped into the pilots seat and made to take off.  
None of them were looking towards the rear of the ship or Rodney. But had they been looking, they would have seen the final spear thrown by one of the more courageous of the angry crowd, and it should have taken Rodney between the eyes had it not been somehow deflected. They might have seen the spark of bluish white that lit up from within Rodney's eyes as he watched the spear fly through the air towards him. They might also have seen his perfectly calm demeanor that was so unlike Rodney McKay and so highly out of character given the circumstances that it would have surprised them. But the only thing they saw when they turned at the sound of the hatch finally closing, was Rodney looking at them with his head cocked to the side in momentary confusion before he went completely limp and fell to the floor of the craft with a thud.

_He watched the long pole with the bladed point fly slowly through the air. It was clear what the intentions were behind it being thrown but he was confused as to the motivation. It made a clean arc through the air towards him, but the spear didn't even get close when it was stopped in its track as if it had struck a solid object, then fell harmlessly to the ground below. Then, he turned to look at the place in which he stood that was currently moving through the air. It was a flying room, vibrant in colour with light that shone from lines within the walls, mesmerizing him. What those lines were, he had no idea, but they pulsed and flowed and he followed the movement of the light within them until his eyes fell upon the other things in the flying room. There were three inhabitants, each very different than what he thought they should be, each incredibly fascinating. In what he considered the head, he saw sparks of light which flowed through a thousand fold myriad of vessels within their bodies, not unlike his own kin, but in different form. And they were speaking, but their words held no meaning for him, their speech alien and confusing. One was attending another whose internal fluid was leaking from a wound in his head, the third appeared to be the one controlling the flying room. But they were slow, so very slow in every way, it confused him. Their movements took so long to complete it baffled him as to how they could possibly be alive. Why did they move and speak in such a sluggish way? And why was the injured one not healing itself? In fact, the entire scene confused him so much that wished to flee the flying room and escape from the strange beings! Then the big door of the flying room closed behind him and his escape route was shut off. The sound of the door closing made two of the inhabitants look towards him, their eyes staring at him strangely. They spoke to him but he had no idea what they were saying, their words drawn out into long low noises that were indecipherable. It was too much to take in and as the smaller inhabitant got to its feet to approach him, he felt his heart racing as his eyes closed and he fell to the floor._

"Wha...what happened?" Rodney asked when he opened his eyes to see Teyla looking down at him with a worried expression.

"Is he alright?" He heard John ask from the front of the Jumper.

"Yeah he's fine. Fainted." Ronon replied as he held a wound dressing to the back of his head.

"Ah, just the usual then?"

"Yup."

"I did not!" Rodney's face flushed red with indignation as he sat himself up and pushed them from him. "I was dizzy and fell over as we took off." He lied.

"Course you did." Ronon replied, attempting and failing to hide his smile.

"Oh whatever Cave Man!"

Reaching into the front pouch of his back pack, he pulled out a handful of energy bars then proceeded to stuff one in his mouth. "Shee? Jusht low 'n shuga." He mumbled with a full mouth. "Howsh your head?"

"I'll live. Thanks to Sheppard."

Given what he had seen of the two's virtually non existent relationship, Rodney was surprised that Ronon acknowledged John at all. Even John seemed surprised as he glanced briefly over his shoulder. The Jumper passed through the gate then materialized in the Atlantis gate room, and everyone breathed a sigh of relief. It had been a hell of a mission to be his first, and as the others chatted away, Rodney sat in quiet reflection over the very strange dream he had experienced when he had passed out. It unsettled him as he was nearly one hundred percent sure that he had been awake throughout it, yet he could not possibly have been. He remembered the strange images of Teyla, John and Ronon and how peculiar they had looked to him, how strange they had sounded. And the Jumper itself, how it had shone brightly and how the electrical cables through it had glowed and pulsed. How slow everything had been, especially his team mates, surely it had been a dream? But he put it down to his own time slowing down as he passed out, there was no other logical explanation, really. After all he had blacked out as the hatch was closing, perhaps it was some strange quirk of his mind shutting down, that he had imagined it all entirely. He had missed breakfast in his haste to join the team and be back on off world missions, the excitement of which had carried him through the day until his body decided that he could not live on adrenaline alone and reminded him of the importance of eating. This is what he told himself had happened; that he had suffered a hypoglycemic attack due to his stupidity. And he would tell the same to anyone who asked what had happened.

The Jumper came to a stop in the Jumper bay and Rodney stuffed another energy bar in his mouth as he gathered up his things. He could not shake the feeling that something was wrong, yet he could not, _would_ not jeopardize his reintegration back onto the team because of one stupid daydream. So he pushed the dream, if indeed that had been what it had been, to the back of his mind and tried to forget it.

_TBC..._


End file.
